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A Grand Southern Italy Journey

A Grand Southern Italy Journey

I don’t recall when and how we came up with the idea to go on a trip to Italy with our friends the Cornejos and Corrigans. I suspect it happened during JC’s surprise birthday party in Las Vegas in early 2025. There was some debate on when we should go and what the trip would look like. I thought RV’ing through Italy would be a good idea. The Cornejos wanted to book a few Airbnbs in a few cities and the Corrigans were open to anything. Right around the first of the year, we picked some dates and started planning.

I pressed for southern Italy as Mandy and I have been to northern Italy a few times and while I love that part of Italy, I thought this was a chance for me to see something new. There was group buy-in for the most part, and the planning commenced.

We decided to go late April and early May to avoid the summer heat and hopefully the crowds. I liked the idea of flying directly into Rome since I had never been south of Rome. Also flying direct and avoiding some of the travel struggles of other trips to Europe was very appealing. I thought we could drive directly east toward the Adriatic Sea and then follow the coast clockwise for two weeks, returning to Rome at the end. The Cornejos wanted to go to Florence which was going to throw a wrench in my plans but they said maybe they would go there first and meet us. So we then all agreed we would buy tickets and we were really going to do this.

Late in the planning, I got a call from Rick Cornejo on a Sunday to say that he and Julie were not going to be able to go because he had a state audit at work that he would need to deal with and was going to be during our selected time. We tried coming up with a few other options so they could be included, but it just wasn’t going to happen. I then suggested that maybe we invite our other mutual friends the Reeves. They expressed interest, but there were going to be some challenges for them, and they were unsure. The Corrigans had some friends from Sarasota who had gone to JC’s 60th birthday in Las Vegas and thought they might be interested. That didn’t work out either. So relatively quickly, we realized it was just going to be the Farquhars and the Corrigans. I wondered if that was going to be less fun and if we would tire of each other after two weeks. The short answer is that a group of six created some logistical issues that became apparent during the trip, and the four of had a grand time with no issues.

Here is a link to our original itinerary and the map we intended to follow. We did not adhere to it exactly, but pretty close. I offer it up as a good starting point for anyone else who might like a head start in planning. The map below is where we really went.

Click the image to go the the Google map of the places we actually went. We tagged them all but two.

As a basic summary, this was a tremendous trip. It will probably be a ‘top 5’ in my life, and I have been lucky enough to have been on some good ones so far. The scenery, culture and companionship were great. The following is A LOT of detail, mostly for my own reference in the future so I can reminisce.

Sunday 4/26: Mandy and I arrived in Rome a little before noon, met the Corrigans in the baggage area. We then got our rental car. They gave us a new Volkswagen T-Roc, which was nice and just big enough. We drove through Rome heading East toward Sulmona where we had an Airbnb reservation. We drove through most of Rome since the airport is in West side of the city. Finally we started to hit some rural areas and could see the mountains we were going to be entering. There were lots of mountain towns which were perched high on a hill with generally a church and castle at the top and the rest of the town surrounding it. They were picturesque and JC was particularly impressed by them. This was his firt time in Italy. Our first stop was at an Autogrill which are gas stations and a store. The stores have quite a reputation for being unlike the American experience and this one did not disappoint. I had an Espresso and an ‘Americano e Latte ToGo’ which I really started to need as I was beginning to hit a wall from effectively a red-eye flight. Another interesting thing was that the urinals were placed quite high, which was noteworthy in the moment, but I would soon discover over the next two weeks that it was a rule and not an exception.

We had just finished our three-hour drive from Rome and began exploring Sulmona. This is their famous aqueduct that was on the edge of their Piazza. It would prove to be a really good beginning of our grand journey.

We continued on through the Abruzzo region through the mountainous landscape that is the Sirente-Velino Natural Park and Parco Nazionale del Gargano. After about three hours, we could see Sulmona in the distance and made our way down into the valley and into Sulmona’s Piazza Garibaldi, which is quite lovely. We arrived at roughly 4 PM. The town is surrounded by beautiful mountains which are in the Della Maiella National Park, and the city itself is at the foot of the Majella. We parked and walked around the piazza and the local shops. Sulmona is the City of Love and is known for its Confetti which is sugar-coated almonds. We stopped at an outdoor cafe called JAMM’ mo and had some drinks. The waiter gave us mountain spring water from the city aqueduct and a public fountain. He also gave us a dinner recommendation, which we walked to, but found that they did not open until 8 PM. We made a reservation.

We stopped to have drinks at essentially the first place we found called JAMM’ mo. The waiter brought a great little tray of bread and prosciutto. He was very proud of his town and made a wonderful suggestion for dinner. This was the start of quite a bit of eating and drinking for the next two weeks.

Our Airbnb, the Blue Owl wasn’t available until six and so we drove over after doing a little more walking. It was a lovely apartment hosted by Franca and Nello. We got settled in and made sure we could make it through all three locked doors to get back in. We then returned to the piazza and went to another outdoor cafe called Bar Piazza Maggiore for more drinks. The waiter insisted on a meat platter which we agreed to. It was impressively big and could have been dinner itself. We had another round of wine and did some damage on the sausage, prosciutto, cheese paninis and something that looked like small hot dogs. We went to another cafe called the Italian Bar down one of the main thoroughfares, which was across from the church. We people watched which included a of Italian men on the church steps. We surmised they must be part of the ‘almond mafia’ since that was an important local commodity. We also recognized a couple from the Budget Rent-A-Car line in Rome, which we thought was very surprising.

This was a great start to a lot of good food. We also really tested my theory that there is no hangover with Italian wine.

It was now essentially 8 PM, so we made our way to the recommended restaurant Pizzeria Ristorante Il Vecchio Muro. We had lots of wine and the meal started with a complimentary fire-roasted potato spinach appetizer which was a surprise and awesome. We then shared pasta with white pepper lemon sauce in a bowl made of cheesy pasta and a fabulous meat tray. The atmosphere was great and the restaurant really filled up by the time we left. We wanted gelato but were too full from dinner, not to mention all the gelato spots we had spotted earlier were now already closed. We made our way back to the Airbnb, managed to get back in through the three locked doors and went to bed pretty quickly as it had been a long day with little sleep the night before.

There was a really big balcony on our Airbnb with a great view of Sulmona and the mountains. When we woke up in the morning, there was a lot of sun and we enjoyed coffee as we began to get ready to continue our journey East.

Monday 4/27: We woke up at a pretty reasonable time in the morning all things considered. No hangover from the abundant amount of wine consumed the night before. My theory that Italian wine doesn’t come with hangovers continues to be supported!

We had a nice little breakfast provided by our host Franca which included bread, pastries and fruit. The coffee pod machine was a challenge and we could not seem to make it work. We ended up making coffee in a pot which worked but was not ideal. After spending some time enjoying the view and the sun on the balcony, we showered in a typically very small Italian shower, packed up and hit the road for the East Coast to see the Adriatic Sea.

The first town we went to was Termoli. The drive through the town was not particularly scenic and the town was a little rough. We did find a section that seemed more historic and tried to find parking which was challenging. We found a spot but it was “merchant only” parking, and a policeman nearby said we couldn’t park there. We looked around a little more without much luck. The portion of the town we saw was not a very scenic place, so we decided to hit the road and skip Termoli.

What we would find in a lot of these towns is that, as you drove in, there were newer sections that were not particularly interesting or attractive. However, Italy being really old, the towns all had older historic areas that were generally nice and interesting. The challenge would be getting to those spots by car. In some towns, this was easier than in others.

We had gotten our recommended wine from the owner. The red was not great. The wine order you see in this picture repeated itself throughout the trip. JC and I ordered red, and Yvonne and Mandy would get white. Ristorante Pizzeria Bistró fed us, but it was maybe our second-worst meal on this trip.

We started heading south and traveled to Lesina, which was the next coastal town on the map. It was early afternoon and we were getting hungry. We did find the older part of the town and parked. We started to walk around looking for a restaurant. Lesina was very quiet and there was hardly anyone around. It was a bit of a ‘ghost town’ and in retrospect, some towns we visited really embraced the siesta and that could have also been the issue when we were there. We were struggling to find a restaurant but traveling to the next town was going to take too long so we were determined to find something. Lesina sits on a large lagoon and has some history around this body of water. They are famous for the eel dishes apparently. We walked around looking for places we could see on Google maps. We saw a Nonna cooking down the alley which was close to a listed pizzeria. We approached and her to aks where the pizzeria was but a dog on the balcony scared us away before we could get close. We then walked towards the lagoon but still no people to be found. We saw a cafe on the lagoon called Ristorante Pizzeria Bistró. It was empty but we asked if they were open and they said yes, even though in retrospect they really were not. We ordered some wine, a salad and a couple of pizzas. The food was not great. The salad was all iceberg lettuce and fennel. The pizzas were very average and the wine was not so good despite being recommended by the owner. It filled us up which was half the battle. We presumed the town would be busier in the summer.

We left Lesina and headed to Vieste. We would look for places to stay as we headed to our final town each night. Yvonne found one called the Pizzomunno Vieste Palace Hotel which looked a bit high-end and we thought we would splurge a little. The hotel was not in the city of Vieste but down the main drag a little in a beach area, which seemed fine. We asked for their rates and it was a bit overpriced for what you were getting. We decided to move on.

We made it down to the harbor and Vieste was quite nice.

We want back toward the city and found some other hotel options. We asked for availability and pricing in a few of them and ended up staying at the Hotel La Caravelle. The price was good, the hotel was reasonably nice and they suggested there were water views from the rooms balconies. They were technically correct but you really had to lean out to see it. This was clearly a family-owned hotel. The hostess was very helpful and her two brothers drove us to the off-site parking which was not particularly close and a bit of an effort to make that all happen. We settled in, rested a little and then after getting a restaurant recommendation, headed into the ‘centro’. We walked through a bunch of alleys and down to the water. Vieste is full of alleys with stores and restaurants. We checked out the church right on the water. On the way there, I think there was church housing for kids and we heard someone being smacked by what I presume was a nun; Hail Mary! We continued exploring and I found the pergola called Bar Gelateria Maggiore at the top of the ‘Heart Stairs’ for the City of Love. We had spotted this earlier but did not want to walk up the stairs. We had some cocktails and enjoyed a good view of Vieste Harbor. We then proceeded down the ‘love’ stairs for dinner at Al Vaporetto Antipasteria Troccoleria di Mare which was recommended to us by the lady at the hotel. We ordered steak, whole sliced prawns, orchiaetta with mussels and tricolor pasta. The dinner was not very good. This was a bit disappointing and as time went on, meals at hotels were not as good as those at just regular restaurants. Al Vaporetta was close to the water with nice outside seating and a view of the chefs. We were optimistic, but in the end, I think it was mostly a tourist spot. We did have good gelato at one of the many stores selling it on our way back to the hotel.

Tuesday 4/28: We woke up the next morning and had the complimentary breakfast in the hotel. It was pretty good and the unlimited handmade coffee drinks were quite good. The La Caravelle hotel was a very acceptable experience.

We came around the tip of Vieste to get a really good view of the cliffs that the town sits on. Shortly we would see the famed 25-meter-high Pizzomunno white limestone monolith.

We had booked a boat tour the night before to see Vieste's famous coastline that spans roughly 30 kilometers. We had packed up, left our bags in the lobby and got driven in the hotel golf cart to the harbor to get on “the love boat” for a three-hour tour of the coast. Francesco was our guide and really added a nice touch to the experience. We enjoyed the scenery which included the transition from long, golden sandy Pizzomunno Beach to the many rugged cliffs, hidden natural sea grottoes, pebble coves, including Baia di Campi, Cala della Pergola and Grotte Marine.

This is the Architiello of San Felice and really representative of a lot of the shoreline we saw. They positioned the boat perfectly so we could get the castle Torre di San Felice in the middle of the natural arch.

We headed back to the hotel to check out. Our host drove us in the golf cart to get the car. Getting it out of their underground garage was quite an adventure. We got on the road heading south for our journey to Bari. We decided we would do a little driving and then look for a place for lunch. The roads were very windy and high up on the cliffs we just saw on the boat. We came up on a roadside restaurant and quickly decided to pull off and try our luck. Monte Bamone Ristorante would turn out to be very good with a beautiful cliffside view overlooking the Adriatic. We of course ordered some drinks. We spotted an old man cooking fish over an open fire so JC decided to order fish. I ordered linguine and clams, Mandy ordered sausages that looked like hot dogs and Yvonne had a caprese. We really lucked out as this checked all the boxes. The restaurant also by chance happened to be right next to the entrance of a fabulous hotel we saw from the boat called Baia delle Zagare which seems to be a place we all agreed if we were to come back, it would deserve a visit.

Our view at Monte Bamone Ristorante was awesome along with the food.

After lunch, we had about another hour of windy roads until we finally got to the flat land on our way to our destination today, Bari. We decided that this agriculturally intense area was the Iowa of Puglia, despite being very close to the ocean. We thought it would be prudent to stop for some gas. We found a gas station in the middle of nowhere which was actually called Eni Station in Cerignola Campagna. We were told by the gas attendant that they only had diesel. We decided that we would use their bathroom and took the opportunity to get some coffee. Most gas stations in Italy all have coffee bars which I think is amazing. There were a bunch of pretty scraggly men in two groups, one outside and one inside killing time and shooting the breeze. I ordered an espresso and an Americano to-go. The two baristas wanted to know where we were from. I think we stood out from their usual clientele as this location was definitely not a tourist destination. We let them know we were from America and they were very impressed by this. They asked if we had US dollars and I obliged giving them some of the singles I had. We then went outside and as we were getting in the car, the gas attendant’s Cane Corso, which was quite impressive, came up to us and we gave him a lot of attention and love. We departed and pressed on. For some reason the route we took brought us inland somewhat, and because of this, we missed Barletta and Trani which is unfortunate in retrospect.

We started to get out of the agricultural area and into the outskirts of Bari. As we drove in, Yvonne and Mandy had been looking for a place to stay. We ended up booking an Airbnb that was advertised as being within easy walking distance of the city's historic area, which is obviously where we wanted to be. The drive into Bari was a little startling as the way in is filled with areas that looked a little rough. We had encountered this before and would continue to do so during the rest of the trip and began to expect it. We ended up getting to the Airbnb called The Rooftop. Before could get access to it, we needed to get them a bunch info like passports. This proved to be quite challenging. We found the actual Airbnb around 5 PM and it would not be ready until 6 PM. We drove around some to try to get a lay of the land. We saw a pretty industrial harbor area with a giant historical fort, and several high-end hotels on the water. There was an area with high-end shopping near these hotels and it looked pretty interesting, though we never ended up going to this area. We worked our way back to the Airbnb and found a temporary parking spot to finish our reservation and finally get into the apartment. It was on the top floor and Mandy went up first to make sure we could actually get in. After we confirmed that, we wheeled in our luggage to the lobby, sent it up a very small Italian elevator and got situated. They told us we could park in a public parking lot a few blocks away. Yvonne volunteered to go with me to get the car parked. We lucked out in that we spotted a space right on the busy city street where our apartment was and we grabbed it. We then tried to pay for the parking on a public app which wouldn’t work and debated how safe our car would be. Parking was free from 8 to 8 and we figured that with all the cars, it would be highly unlikely that ours would get picked out for ticketing, or much worse, towed or stolen.

The apartment was very reasonable and clean. It had a rooftop terrace which was pretty nice and had a very interesting view of the many local buildings. JC went to a wine store right down the street and bought a bottle of red and white to bring back to the apartment. We thought we would relax and sit in the rooftop terrace and kill some time waiting for Italy’s late-ish dinner time. What was strange was that you could not buy a corkscrew and the apartment didn’t have one. We ended up opening the wine bottles with a knife. JC spilled a lot of the red wine all over the kitchen in the process.

Finally it was time to venture out into the city of Bari, and it was definitely a city. We headed for the old town by foot. As advertised, it was not far from the apartment at all. We walked down along Castello Normanno-Svevo which is a 13th-century fort. When we got to the end of that we saw the entrance into ‘old-town’. Pretty quickly we were impressed by this area and it was what we were really looking for. Bari is famous for Nonna’s handmade Orichetti in the alleyways which is a specific type of pasta. We finally found a few of them and bought a couple of bags. We enjoyed watching them make it. As we were wandering around we walked into a piazza with a bunch of restaurants on the edges. One in the corner had a bunch of outside seating and they had the whole crowd singing. We watched this for a little while as it was pretty fun. We then heard the sound of church bells and walked toward it. We ran into the Basilica of St Nicholas which was built for this saint in the 11th century for the original Santa Claus. As we walked around we found another piazza for the church where they were having this big ceremony for St. Nicholas. Our timing was quite lucky and this was quite the sight. There was a big crowd of people, a band and a delegation of the church led by the father addressing the crowd. Behind him was the statue of St. Nicholas which had been carried out of the church by a bunch of parishioners. They then turned around and the procession went back into the church with the statue to do a mass. We continued to watch for a while. It was quite the spectacle.

This was our table in the alleyway at Cucina Carletto. They brought the pre-determined five-piece meal that we ate family-style. The items were a little surprising but were fantastic. This was one of our best meals with good drinks.

It was now time to find a place to eat. We wandered around for a while and finally found a little restaurant called Cucina Carletto that was in one of many tight alleys in the part of the old town. There was outside and inside seating. While we were waiting for a an outside seat, a kid on a bike was nearly run over by a guy on a motorcycle. The traffic in the old town was very curious with pedestrians dodging bikes and mopeds. We also witnessed a young shirtless boy arrive at the restaurant looking for something to drink and was given a Coke by the waitress to then scurry away to wherever he came from. We finally got a table outside and there were only about five available. The waitress was less than thrilled when we figured out it was a bit late for them. She definitely wanted to go home. The proprietor was an older man and I suspect the waitress’s father. He was great and definitely was going to take care of us. We selected a family-style meal with five parts to it that we would all share. He brought out these old carafes of red and white wine which was very good. The old man brought out eggplant, buffalo mozzarella, sun-dried tomatoes and a big tray of pasta and meat sauce. We really enjoyed this meal! We left and walked around a bit and started to head back in the direction of our Airbnb. We ran into this great bakery and gelato store called Gelateria Gentile which was very popular. We bought pastries for the next morning’s breakfast. I got a very good gelato. We walked back to the apartment and drank some more wine on the rooftop terrace. We had more great conversations and finally went to bed.

Wednesday 4/29: We all woke up at a reasonable hour somewhat motivated by our understanding that car ticketing started at 8 AM. We all showered in the one bathroom, packed up and headed out. I brought the car closer to the front door and we actually were able to park right there. I wanted a coffee before we departed and went to a cafe up the street on the next corner that allowed me to pee the prior evening as we were waiting to get into the Airbnb. It was a good ‘modern’ Bari city experience.

We got back in the car and headed south towards Polignano a Mare. Yvnonne’s friend Nick had sent her a link to a hotel called Grotta Palazzese and there is an amazing restaurant in a cave at sea level looking out on the Adriatic. We arrived and found a parking lot which turned out to be south of the old city. We checked that out for a little bit but then decided to drive and park closer to the old city. We worked our way through classic Italian narrow streets and found a spot that we thought was pretty good and close to the Grotta Palazzese Hotel. Across the alley from our parking space was a very old lady hanging out her window doing what I call Italian security. She thought we needed to move our car closer to the one in front of us and so we did.

This is a view of the many options in the old city to see the Adriatic in Polignano a Mare. The cliffs are probably 40 to 60 feet above the water. It is stunning. The Grotta Palazzese Hotel was right around the corner and we could see the famed ristorante from the railing to the right.

We headed towards the Adriatic to try to get some views and there were several options that we found easily. Walking through the alleys of Polignano a Mare was very picturesque. We decided to track down the Grotta Palazzese Hotel and see if we could wrangle a lunch reservation at the famous grotto restaurant. We did find it and there was a security guy at the entrance. We asked him about getting a reservation and he said you had to do it online. The entrance was close to a sea wall and view, so there was a fair amount of pedestrian traffic and distractions. We milled around a bit and then came back. I waited until the security guy was distracted and bolted for the door to see if I could get down to the restaurant and at least see it, and maybe wrangle a reservation in person. I made it in but missed the correct stairwell down to the restaurant, and this delay allowed the security guy to track me down and tell me to get out: I was shoo-shoo’d away Italian style.

We decided we would get a coffee and pastries and landed at a nice outdoor cafe called Sporcamus Bakery. We then continued to explore and found our way to Lama Monachile which is the visual highlight. We spent a good amount of time soaking in the beauty and activity. We then decided to walk to the other side of Lama Monachile. We could see an interesting long cliff walk we wanted to check out and maybe find a lunch option with a great view. We found a nice hotel and restaurant, but they were not open. We bumped into a Chicago couple who told us about a hotel in Matera which was a potential spot to stay at in the next few days; it turned out to be not available. We returned to the other side of Lama Monachile. There was a great rooftop terrace at a restaurant called Acquamarea right next to the picture we took below. The view was great as was the wine. Lots of fish options which is a problem for the ladies. The food ended up being very acceptable. Polignano a Mare was only a point of intrigue on our itinerary and it turned out to be one of the best places on this trip. It would be a place I would return to for a couple of days.

This is Lama Monachile which is the most photographed part of Polignano a Mare. It was pretty amazing and lives up to the hype. I would have really liked to go down and swim but I started to catch a cold and couldn’t muster up the energy to do it. My loss.

We returned to the car to head to Monopoli. Our old lady security guard was no longer at her post: it must have been her siesta time. We arrived at the outskirts of Monopoli and the rugged experience we had earlier in other cities was true for Monopoli. We had put in the hotel I identified on the itinerary into the navigation and had a few directional misses. We then found the entrance to the old city. We saw the ZTL signs which mean you really shouldn’t drive in. There was a narrow alley that we thought we should head down, but there were cars coming out. We tried another alley and the car did not like this and when things got really tight, the car auto-braked really hard a couple of times. It was very startling, and everyone else was thrown off by this and thought we should move on. I thought we should try harder but got outvoted and so we got out of Monopoli and started to head south. l took a quick look at the map and there appeared to be long beaches just a little south with big hotels and so I thought this might be a good alternative to the hotel in the heart of old town Monopoli. We checked it out and it was okay but they were closed for the season. In retrospect, I think we missed out by not staying in Monopoli, as I have seen a number of videos showing how nice it is.

After we settled into our L’Angola Ostuni Airbnb, we explored the streets of Ostuni armed with many recommendations from our super host Massimo.

We decided to move on to Ostuni which was going to be part of a day trip the following day. This turned out to be a very good decision! Yvonne hopped on Airbnb and the first recommendation was a listing called the L’Angola Ostuni. We decided to pull the trigger. The host Massimo responded almost immediately and said he would meet us after he stopped at the laundry for fresh towels. We could see the white city on the hill which was pretty spectacular. Before we knew it, we were working our way up to the city and heading to our new home on 81 Corso Giuseppe Garibaldi. We found the location, although we were a bit unsure if it was right. We found a parking spot relatively close on this narrow street and saw Massimo waiting for us with fresh towels and a bottle of cold white wine. Massimo opened a narrow door which was the entrance to reveal the steepest set of stairs I have ever seen. The home was two stories and the stairs were effectively a ladder. That being said, the place was very nice and Massimo showed off this beautifully restored apartment. He told us he was studying to be an engineer and did all the renovation work himself. The Corrigans defaulted to the lower bedroom because of Yvonne’s giant purple suitcase. Mandy and I took the loft at the top which was also the living room. This stay had the best bathrooms of our trip. As Massimo left, he said he would offer us an extra night at half the price if we paid him directly. We thought about it for a little while and decided to take him up on his offer.

This was on the patio of the La Sommità Relais Hotel which we spotted and decided to explore. What a find! Maybe the best view in Ostuni not to mention great drinks and service.

Massimo proceeded to give us numerous recommendations for dinner and cocktails with a view. Before going out, JC stopped into the mercato a few steps away from our Airbnb and picked up a couple of bottles of wine. He spotted a very local social club in a back room and we wondered what really goes on in there. We then proceeded to walk down the hill to the piazza and head towards the church we saw from our rooftop terrace which seemed to be the high point of the city. We found our way to Massimo’s first recommendation for drinks with a view. The place with a view had no availability and so we moved on and wandered around a bit. We stumbled upon a nightclub called Ricardo’s which was quite nice and a bit unexpected for me. It seemed incongruent to have a nightclub in a very old historic city. We came upon a small cafe/bar called Bar Perso with a very interesting feature of beanbag chairs in an alley with a nice view. We had a cocktail on beanbag chairs and chopped it up with some locals. We moved on and decided to climb up to discover a beautiful hotel called La Sommità Relais. I asked if they had a bar and they offered up a terrace with the most amazing view of the agricultural land below Ostuni and all the way to the Adriatic. This was considerably better than Massimo’s recommendation. We had a round of drinks on the patio and watched an amazing sunset. We then moved into a nice room for a second round of drinks. We met a couple from Baltimore on their honeymoon and had a lovely conversation with them. We finally moved on and tracked down a restaurant we had spotted earlier which appeared to be in a cave. Osteria del Tempo Perso looked very nice and had a table. The atmosphere was great and this made up for our miss earlier in the day in Polignano a Mare. The meal was quite good highlighted by JC’s Octopus order. We also met an American man who was a former professional volleyball player. We left and wandered home. There in the living room, we had a long conversation about how each of us met our significant others and our many adventures in San Francisco all fueled by the wine JC had gotten earlier.

Our resident red wine sommelier JC gives the offering from Osteria del Tempo Perso in a cave a test. Very good!

Thursday 4/30: We woke up the next morning in pretty good shape. My theory of no hangover with Italian wine was still holding true. Unfortunately, I had caught a cold and this was the peak of my sickness. Mercifully I was able to press on but not at peak powers. JC would catch it a few days later as I was hacking on my co-pilot in the car for hours every day. Up until this point, the weather had been perfect but today was going to be rainy. Our plan was to take a day trip to Lecce and the southernmost end of the heel: probably Gallipoli. Mandy and I were a bit ahead of JC and Yvonne from a schedule perspective so we wandered around a little in Ostuni along with coffee and pastries at Caffè Trieste in the piazza.

There was seemingly an infinite number of alleys and things to do in Ostuni. Mandy and I wandered around in the morning exploring and killing some time.

We were all ready and got in the car and made our way to Lecce. JC saw an archaeological museum he wanted to visit so we checked that out. It was quite interesting with all sorts of crazy ‘rooms’ dug into rock and earth many years prior. We had worked up a little bit of an appetite and we wandered around a bit and found a nice restaurant called Osteria 203. It took a little effort and some luck to wrangle a table. A little wine and more good Italian food. We departed and Yvonne fell out of her chair on the way out.

We then found more destinations and walked to Palazzo del Seggio o Sedile which had a number of things to look at like an old preserved colosseum or amphitheater type structure: I believe it is Le Camere dell'Anfiteatro. There was a great church so we of course peeked our heads in there as well. There was also a big sculpture behind glass which we could not figure out who they were recognizing but he clearly was important: Saint fill-in-the-blank. We continued to walk the alleys of Lecce. We found an area that mixed high-end stores in the historic section of the city. We were thinking we were heading back to the car, but we had overshot it by a bunch. At long last we found the main road we had parked on and walked back towards the car.

We found a nod to my wife’s maiden name in Lecce.

We got on the road to head south to Gallipoli which was made famous in the First World War, I believe the Trojan horse, the Ionian Sea and the westernmost point of Italy’s heel. We worked through the newer part of the town to the old town which I think is technically an island. We found some parking in the harbor area. There was definitely real fishing and other seafaring activities going on here. Yvonne and I needed to use a bathroom and there was a cafe in this industrial harbor area which seemed a little strange but we got some coffee in exchange for use of their bathroom. That hit the spot but Yvonne said she would buy it and then proceeded to walk out without paying. The proprietor tracked us down and we paid. It was raining off and on, but not too hard. We proceeded to the centro after a stop at the ‘pharmacia’ to get cough drops. We then went to the Olive Oil Press Museum. Apparently in Gallipoli there were approximately two thousand of these operations. They were dug underground and the whole thing was enlightening and very curious. We then saw this nativity exhibit where you walk through and it recreates the nativity scene. This was quite interesting: it was like a ‘Small World’ at Disney only for Jesus. It started to rain and there was a gentleman outside a bar that waived us in and we took him up on his offer which was good since it started to pour shortly after. I don’t recall the name of it but it was very interesting with horse carriages and an open atrium area. The cocktails and conversation were good. The rain let up and we then walked to the most western point of Gallipoli and checked out the Ionian Sea. We proceeded to walk around the entire seawall and back to the car. We got another coffee on the way out of Gallipoli at the cafe we went to earlier. And use their facilities! We got in the car and returned to Ostuni. I wish we were able to spend a little more time in the heel but this trip worked.

Getting the lay of the land as we planned our walk through Gallipoli.

Upon our return to Ostuni, we tried to find a parking spot near our Airbnb and there was nothing. There was a park close by and we found a spot there. This sort of allowed us to see that there was a whole other side of Ostuni that we had not gone to. We returned to our Airbnb and drank some of our ‘house wine’. We then left and walked around looking for a dinner spot based on Massimo’s recommendations. We struck out a few times as these higher-end restaurants wanted reservations, but we had not made any. We ended up eating at Hosteria Pizzeria Regina which had a nice atmosphere and the food was good. We talked about the best movies and shows that night which was an interesting conversation. I had a gelato on the way home. A little more wine at home and we went to bed.

We really enjoyed coffee and pastries at Caffè Trieste in the Ostuni Piazza.

Friday 5/1: Woke up in Ostuni and got ready to leave. I went to get the car at the park and initially I couldn’t find it. I hadn’t walked far enough but had a big oh-oh moment thinking the car was gone. I was able to find a spot relatively close to the house and we packed the car up and were ready to leave. I had spotted a small farmer’s market getting the car so we went and checked that out first and then returned to Caffè Trieste in the piazza for coffee and pastries. We people watched and there was some sort of entertainment being set up. Now that we were fed and caffeinated, we headed back to the car for our trip to Alberobello and the Trulli houses.

We made our way to Alberobello on a pleasant drive through the countryside. As we got to Alberobello, the traffic picked up considerably and it quickly became clear that everyone was there to see the Trulli houses. We worked our way as close to the start of the walk as possible to find a pay-for-parking area in a tired-looking olive orchard. The proprietor was a very intimidating man who felt as though he should be a part of Hell’s Angels in the States. He was a no-joke tough guy made clear by his cauliflowered ears. Don’t judge a book by its cover as he turned out to be quite delightful.

We were working our way up through the many Trulli Houses. This area is a UNESCO World Heritage site.

We started walking towards the Trulli houses, which were packed with a lot of people. We were oblivious that today was the beginning of a three-day May Day holiday. The basic story on these unique dwellings is that the local people would build their houses with ‘loose’ stones to avoid being taxed by the government. They would disassemble the houses leaving nothing to tax before the tax man would come around. As we were wandering around, I saw a rooftop deck that I was certain would have great views of the area. We tried to get up there but the viewing deck was above a store and you had to buy something to get entrance. So we bought tchotchkes and went up. It was worth the price of admission. We continued to wander around the Trulli houses and relatively quickly decided that we had the experience and proceeded back to the car to get out of all the people.

This was one of the views from the pay-to-play viewing deck. We had someone take a picture of all of us and try to get the houses in the picture and the results were not great. This one of Mandy turned out to be the best one.

We got on the road and decided to stop for lunch in a town called Puntignano. This was your typical town on a hill and was a small to medium-sized. We found a good parking space before the ZTL area which was right next to a public bathroom which was a plus as well. Things were very quiet which I suspect was some combination of siesta time and the holiday we just discovered. We walked toward the centro and quickly came across a group of Gen Z’ers partying it up at a bar and in the sun for what was a cool-ish day. We decided we wouldn’t raise the average age at this Gen Z’er party. Shortly after we came upon the Piazza Plebiscito which looked interesting. There was a church on one side, and on the other side there was a bunch of tables outside in front of a ristorante called Grieco - I think. As stated earlier it was a bit cool and windy so we went inside to a small room with about four tables. We met our waiter Massimo who encouraged us to come in as we were debating what to do. We took him up on his offer and went in. We decided to call him Massimo II and immediately liked him. He had great suggestions on everything. He told us his life story and was well-versed in all things food and wine with a worldly history to support his recommendations. We ended up having a great meal and the wine recommendations were awesome. His mother has a small olive oil farm and he gave us a can of his family’s olive oil. We became fast friends.

A picture of our new best friend Massio II after our great meal and conversation. You will also see the can of his family’s olive oil he gave us. We have subsequently ordered more because it was so good!

During lunch, we indicated we wanted to visit a winery and Massimo recommended a few. The one he really pushed was run by three sisters but it was in the wrong direction and too far away. We proceeded on a beautiful drive to one of Massimo’s other recommendations called Tenute Girolamo Winery. Massimo called the owner to let him know we were coming. Our timing was pretty perfect as they were just starting a tour. This was done by a young man who really knew his stuff and gave us a complete overview of the entire process. The highlight was down in the basement which was quite large and deep where they processed the wine and then below that, put it in lots of barrels for aging.

The underground aging room was very impressive, cool and damp.

After the tour we went to their tasting room and ended up tasting I believe nine different wines. It was a lot. Mandy hit her drinking limit about halfway through and JC started drinking her wine in addition to his. He would consume a lot of wine this day and absolutely tested the limits of my no-hangover theory for Italian wine. We were here until about 5 PM and we needed to start thinking about a place to stay.

We started tasting a whole bunch of wine after the tour. This was the beginning of a long day of drinking for JC in particular. By the end of the night, he was in rare form!

I had booked an Airbnb called Corte Lirice Paradiso through Booking.com in a town called Gioia del Colle. We drove into town following the GPS which was going to take us right to the Airbnb. We entered the old part of the town which means a lot of narrow alleys. We got to one point where there was a very subtle and quick left and right which was quite narrow. I got pretty good at working our way through narrow spots, but this was too narrow. The car literally got wedged between the two walls. I was convinced we could get through. JC got out to guide me and Mandy and Yvonne were in the back peppering me with suggestions. There was an old man who walked by shaking his head. Then there was a younger man who showed up and was willing to help us but his basic recommendation was to back up and not go forward. I really thought we could get through and how else are we going to get to the Airbnb? However it became obvious we were not going to make it through and so we backed out, which was not easy considering the wedge issue we found ourselves in. After some considerable effort, we got the car unwedged and were able to turn around after about a 40-point turn. This may have been the highlight and lowlight all at once, and probably the most memorable part of the trip.

We were able to find a parking space on one of the larger streets pretty close to the Airbnb but it required some walking. The Airbnb was not on a street but in a side alley and there was also some construction going on in the piazza that would have provided easier access. We finally found the Corte Lirice Paradiso Airbnb. We were provided a code to open the lock box but it didn’t work. I tried calling Booking.com, messaging them, calling the Airbnb directly but we couldn’t get a hold of anyone as it was later in the evening. We tried the code again and again, and it just would not work. We tried and tried and waited and waited, and nothing. Mandy and Yvonne had to pee so they went to a pizzeria/restaurant a couple of blocks away. Mandy and Yvonne started asking the girls in the pizza place where we could go. Their recommendation was the Svevo Hotel. So we made our way there and unfortunately it ended up being a bust because there was an entire football (soccer) team that had taken all the rooms. The young man at the front desk arranged for us to go to a hotel in the next town San Basilio. We got back in the car and headed to Hotel Cecere. We were greeted by a gentleman at the front desk who looked a lot like Kramer from Seinfeld. We apparently got the last two rooms in the hotel. These rooms were quite large and they had these extremely large patios with nothing on them. We settled in and went down to the lobby where Kramer greeted us with complimentary wine. At this point, JC was feeling no pain from the two gallons of wine he had at the winery. We finished our wine and headed to a restaurant called La Finestra sul Cielo recommended by Karmer in Mottola. It was more modern than anything we had been to previously. We sat down and it took a while to get served. The food was alright. There was a good view because Mottola sits on a hill which most towns in Italy do. On the way out JC had a funny fall where he was walking behind us one moment and then had fallen behind a car and seemingly disappeared. We made it back to the hotel and put JC to sleep!

Saturday 5/2: We all got up at a reasonable hour which was impressive for JC. They had a breakfast and coffee bar downstairs which was surprisingly impressive. We also noticed the hotel had a very large wedding ballroom that was quite dated but pretty impressive nonetheless. They must have hosted every event in the area. We said our good-byes to Kramer, packed up and headed out.

This vantage point greeted us as we got to the old part of Matera The whole thing was very impressive. The old part of the city sits in a hole and as we walked around we learned more about the colorful history of the third-oldest city in the world.

Today’s destination was Matera. To get there we drove through beautiful rolling hills and countryside. We worked our way into the town and this too seemed busy so we found a parking spot and took it. Turns out we should have gone further as we had parked a bit too far from the old city. After our long walk, we finally made it to the main attraction. Matera visually lived up to the hype and definitely felt like the third-oldest city in the world. From our initial view of the city we could see the Cathedral Basilica on the other side and decided we would walk around the top right edge of the city to the cathedral. It was stunning and at least on this side, the modern city had crept right to the edge of the old city. We went down a little into the old portion of the city and walked the alleys. We spotted a very interesting restaurant that was dug into the stone and essentially in a cave. I decided we should try to come back to that if we could.

This was the most ornate church we saw on our trip and we saw a lot of churches. I found it interesting that given Matera’s history of extreme poverty, its church was so magnificent.

We finally made it to the Cathedral Basilica which had a museum as well so we decided to check it out. We generally poked our heads into every church to check them out, but this one was particularly stunning. The history was impressive particularly because of the age of the city. We spent a decent amount of time in both the museum and the actual church which were quite interesting in different ways.

After finishing the church and museum, we debated if we should work our way down into the bottom of ‘the hole’ that is Matera but opted to enjoy the view from the top. Instead, we decided to work our way back to the restaurant we saw earlier for lunch. More wine and another great meal with very unique atmosphere that is an underground cave: even though we had sort of done it already in Ostuni.

The whole restaurant was dug deep into Mater rock creating a cave environment. There was a very large dining room at the bottom that was quite deep. We had a good meal and it was a memorable stop even though it was our second meal in a cave.

We had a long walk back to the car because of our earlier parking mistake. I had paid particular attention to the way we got there so we could find our way back. However, we pretty quickly hit territory that I did not recognize. We found ourselves on the main drag and I was pretty certain that if we stayed on it we would find the car. However as time went on, we thought we were one block off and mercifully we were correct and located the car which was a relief.

We got on the road and headed for Potenza. The rolling hills and mountains were beautiful as we made our way west toward the Mediterranean. We stopped for gas and I had hoped they had a coffee bar like every other gas station in Italy, but no. They did have a bathroom which was a good consolation prize. Yvonne and Mandy started to look for a place to stay. Pretty quickly they found an interesting listing which was a two-bedroom, two-bath Airbnb in the next town over called Pignola. We decided to pull the trigger and Marco the host was helpful with various details. Pignola is a beautiful small ski village next to Potenza. We drove by Potenza and took the next exit after and started driving up some windy roads and we were really gaining some altitude. We were getting close and went up a very steep street. When we arrived at the address, we went to turn into the driveway and I thought the car was going to roll over. There was a gate and two houses that were not looking great. We messaged Marco and he said his parents were looking out of their balcony and couldn’t see us. We finally figured out we were on the wrong street. With a little effort, we found the right address.

We were checking out the balcony with Marco’s dad. There was a great view out over the valley with mountains in the distance covered with windmills.

We were greeted by Marco’s dad who showed us to our apartment. This was a three-story house with a garage and storage on the first floor, Marco’s parents lived on the second floor and we stayed on the top floor. The home was quaint and they had a washer and dryer which we took advantage of. Marco’s Mom gave us an overview of everything we would need including a detailed how-to on another espresso machine. There was a koi pond in the back with a pretty sizeable patio. We got settled in and then poured some wine from the winery we visited yesterday. There was a sitting area out in front of the house with a fantastic view over the valley. Katy called Yvonne and we all had a long fun FaceTime session with her.

Le Fiamme was a very local restaurant recommended by Marco. This was the charcuterie board recommended by the owner. It was a lot of food and quite good. This was the beginning of a large meal.

Marco made us a reservation for dinner at 8 PM at Le Fiamme which was a local family-style restaurant. We showed up right on time after accidentally parking in the employee lot which made the entrance a bit concerning. When we got inside it was really nice. They took us upstairs which was a really big room that was a little bit austere. We were the only ones up there. The owner came up to greet us which was really nice. He suggested a bunch of things and we got a little swept up in his enthusiasm. After he left we realized we ordered too much. The wine came and then a huge charcuterie board showed up. There were a bunch of different things and we tested them all. It was all quite good! It became obvious that we could have just ordered that but we had ordered much more. The rest of the meal showed up which included a huge amount of ribs for Mandy. Yvonne had pistachio pasta and JC and I split a big meat tray and a pasta ravioli with cod! It was all really good but way too much. As we went down to pay, we decided to have some after-dinner drinks. We had a great conversation with the bar staff. There was a young man who greeted us early in our meal and liked that we spoke English. We saw 18-year-old Valentino again and we encouraged him to visit us in the States. It was a great deal of fun. After one last after-dinner drink, we went back to the house, finished our laundry and spent a bunch of time debating which bands were the best and showing each other what we each thought were amazing performances on YouTube. Yvonne had the craziest notion that the Eagles were the best American rock band!

Sunday 5/3: We woke up and started to get ready. Despite the detailed training on the coffee maker, we couldn’t make this one work either. JC was starting to feel bad after finally getting my cold. We lugged our luggage down and packed up the car. We said our good-byes to Marco’s parents.

We found a nice little coffee shop in Potenza. We were enjoying the sun and listening to the locals chat and greet each other. They also had Halls cough drops, which we bought a bunch of for JC and my colds.

Since I thought we were going to stay in Potenza for the night, and it looked pretty interesting as we drove by the day before, I suggested that we should go get some coffee and drugs for JC. Potenza like most cities in Italy was perched on a hill. We worked our way to the top and found a good parking spot. We had spotted a coffee shop right before we parked and so we headed there. This was a very small shop called Bar Caffeteria Vittoria. We ordered our customary Americanos and Cappuccinos, which were good but all their pastries were gone. There were a bunch of locals and we enjoyed watching the post-church activities of the town. There was a gentleman who understood English but he had not disclosed this until the end so hopefully we didn’t say anything stupid. Mandy really didn’t understand his Italian and he would later convey that he speaks a Naples dialect. We walked around the town a little and then got on our way to Salerno and the Mediterranean.

The coast and harbor area of Salerno was picturesque and impressive. We walked up and down the ‘promenade’ checking the city our and trying to get our bearings.

We worked our way into the city and got to the coast. We drove around a little to get the lay of the land and finally parked in a public parking lot right on the water. There was a long walkway and an ‘avenue’ right on the water. We decided we would walk down it and then move into the city to find a hotel. We wandered around quite a bit trying a bunch of options without much luck. I had seen a somewhat modern hotel when we drove in called the Grand Salerno which was just south of the old part of the city. Despite my earlier bad experience with Booking.com, I thought I would roll the dice again and try to get a reservation through them for the Grand Salerno as their pricing was quite good. We pulled the trigger and went back to the car to check in. Getting out of the public parking lot was a little tricky but we found our way to the hotel. We were instructed to park in the garage below and after doing so, finally got checked in. The hotel was very acceptable but it had clearly peaked sometime late in the last century. We decided we would nap a little before venturing out.

We started to walk towards the old part of Salerno and stopped at this open bar on the waterfront called Madegra. Interestingly enough, this is the first place we paid a tip for a meal or drinks.

We started walking North towards the old section of Salerno from our hotel down the promenade which had lots of restaurants on one side and the harbor and Mediterranean on the other. There was a nice outside bar about halfway down so we stopped to have some drinks. Today was our day to have a long chat with our daughter and so we FaceTimed with Sara while having drinks at Madegra. This restaurant was our first tipping experience meaning they asked for a tip and we hadn’t had that happen previously. I believe this was an indication that we were in a more touristy area than we had been in previously. We left and worked our way to the older section of the town which meant moving inland some. There was a great pedestrian promenade called Corso Vittorio Emanuele. We happened on a Renaissance performance which had a lot of people dressed up in historical costumes performing music and dancing. We moved on and checked out another large church which was not far away from the performances. When we were done checking it out, the celebration came to the church and so we watched a little bit more. We then moved on and started walking through the many tight alleys of Salerno and found this ‘hole in the wall’ wine bar with great prosciutto called Dolci Ricordi. We got a little table on the street and enjoyed the offering. While we were there, a gentleman sat at the table next to us who turned out to be a Norwegian mathematician. Shortly thereafter, a lady and her dog grabbed a table. She was a biologist now living in Rome and visiting her parents in Salerno. We all started talking and they seemed to hit it off. When we left, we wondered if a connection had been made.

The ‘local’ lady made a restaurant recommendation called Cici Rinella. She gave us the owner’s name and told us to ask for him. We did and were welcomed with open arms. This restaurant was sort of a cave as well. We met a bunch of other people in there one of whom was an American couple, Renee and her husband Bob. They were from upstate NY and Florida. The restaurant was good but not amazing. We left and took a leisurely walk back through the promenade, people watching and looking at the many stores and restaurants. We did stop for gelato and dessert cocktails at bakery and gelato cafe with outside tables. While we were eating, these really young African kids were trying to sell necklaces and other tchotchkes. We just gave them money. We walked back to the Grand Salerno and called it a night.

Monday 5/4: We woke up and went downstairs to the free breakfast at the Grand. It was a decent offering in a very big room but the whole thing was a blast from the past. We got packed up, checked out and made our way down to the garage to venture to the Amalfi coast.

This was right off the main dag looking into Maoiri. We really liked this town and had one of our best lunches.

Getting out of Salerno was pretty easy and we quite quickly entered the narrow, windy roads that would be our experience for the next few days. Our first stop was the coastal town of Maiori. The trip here was visually amazing and very exciting from a driving experience. Yvonne has a friend in Sarasota named Masood who had a house in Maiori for quite a while and had provided Yvonne with lots of travel advice prior to the trip. We found a parking spot right on the main drag and grabbed it. We walked around the water area and then headed inland up the main boulevard. This was a really nice little town full of shops and restaurants. We stopped in the local church as we did in every town and there was a great garden with these deep pools full of fish, which was quite impressive and a bit surprising. It was getting close to lunch so we stopped at a deli called La Tramontina. We ate at their outside tables. Mandy ordered a focaccia sandwich with prosciutto and mortadella, JC ordered lasagna and Yvonne got a huge bruschetta. This lunch was really good and supported my theory that the best food was in the little establishments. We returned to the car and continued with the goal of getting to Ravello.

One of the stores in Maoiri just sold pork and it was out for inspection! Give me the prosciutto!

We almost missed the turn to Ravello. There was a split that came real quick and I froze a bit but at the very last minute went up the right way to Ravello. We climbed and climbed up a very twisty road. This was our first introduction to one-way roads. We got to the top and there were two choices and I opted to go through a tunnel as it seemed that would take us higher, and being high is good when traveling in Italy. This brought us to a dead end which was full of vehicles. Trying to turn around was a challenge. I then proceeded down the way we came but this was going the wrong way on a one-way raod. We were told in Italian that we were idiots. I managed to back up and go the right way. We went back through the tunnel and I parked right on the other side of it where the other turn was. The parking spot was on the side of the road and marginally legal, but my thought was we should walk up particularly after the car struggle we just had. There was a gentleman helping with traffic that I had walked over to ask if he thought my parking spot was okay. He said there were seven more spaces up above. We scrambled back to the car while four cars went by and motored to the promised parking. Sure enough, there was a public parking. We got our space but it was super tight.

This is the Piazza Centrale in Ravello which was quite the revelation as we walked up some stairs and were greeted by the very picturesque public square. This was just the beginning of our love for Ravello.

Our plan was to check out Ravello and pursue an Airbnb we had seen in Furore that touted great views and a hot tub. We had an issue with a car on the other side of the parking and we let them out and then reparked. While all this was going on, Mandy and Yvonne noticed a hotel right near the public parking. They walked around looking for someone to talk to and found the cleaning lady. She told us ‘uno momento’ and our new friend Pietro arrived within minutes on his Vespa. He was very welcoming and gave us two rooms at a great rate at Il Ducato Di Ravello. One room had a really great view that JC and Yvonne got. The room we had was quite nice as well, and these were some of the best rooms we had to date. There were two little dogs that roamed around and provided ‘security’. They were both in kind of rough shape but very friendly. We settled in and relaxed a little bit and then walked up the stairs to the Piazza Centrale and wow! We were amazed at the beauty of it!

This was our perfect table at the Hotel Rufalo. This would be a nice place to stay if I came back.

We walked across the piazza and saw the Hotel Rufalo which was really nice so we checked it out. There was a great patio that overlooked the Mediterranean. The view was amazing and there were plenty of tables. They gave, we asked for, the perfect table in the corner with a view that could stop time! We had cocktails and drinks there. Honestly I could have stayed there all day. During our drinks, we noticed a tower and we could see people on top. It turned out to be the Fondazione Ravello. So we headed over to check it out and it was a museum with a bunch of history and of course the view at the top of the tower. We checked everything out and climbed to the top. On the way up, there were a bunch of displays and the stairway up through the tower was steel and glass which was a nice aesthetic. The top was more of the great view we had already seen, just a little higher and quite impressive. After we went to a beautiful garden. We saw a bride and groom and realized this has got to be the prettiest place to have a wedding.

I found my perfect store in Ravello!

We continued to explore and ended up at the Hotel Giordano which looked nice. Down some stairs we spotted a pool and bar so we headed there. This was a nice setting. Our waiter was Tomosso and we became fast friends. He was showering us with pleasantries including JC looking like Sean Connery. At the end we asked for a dinner recommendation and Tomosso suggested to Hotel Maria which was a sister hotel. We would take his advice, but headed back to our rooms first at Il Ducato Di Ravello. We got some wine we still had from the winery and other acquisitions along the way. JC and Yvonne’s room had a ‘vista veranda’ perched up high with a terrific view of the parking lot. We spent some time there before heading out to dinner.

Our new friend Tommoso at the Hotel Giordano.

We worked our way to Hotel Maria. It was a very nice establishment. They had great outdoor dining with a great view looking north with the Mediterranean in view. There was a row of tables right on the edge but they were all taken so we got the next row over. The prices here were definitely a notch higher than what we typically had seen thus far. Welcome to Amalfi! We struggled a little with the menu but ended up with a good, but not great meal and some really good wine. All in all, it was a very nice experience. We took a leisurely walk back to the Il Ducato and went to bed.

Tuesday 5/5: We woke up at Pietro’s place to a very early farmer’s market setup at a crazy hour. The two ‘guard’ dogs were doing their job by barking quite a bit as well. Pietro served us a delicious breakfast with “the best coffee in all of Italy.” He told us about the celebrity weddings that had taken place in Ravello, including John Legend and Usher! After breakfast, we separately returned to the Piazza Centrale and checked out the eastern end of the town which we had not visited the day before. We returned to the Il Ducato and Pietro pulled our car out of their private parking which was just a grass patch below the public parking. He got us out of the public parking for free and we were on to Positano!

Holy cow! The trip into Positano was even more exciting from a driving perspective. It was certainly a test of nerves with endless tight squeezes! We drove by two young men in a bad scooter accident. As we closed in on Positano, there was a turn we needed to make to head into Positano that we missed. We continued on that road for a while and then there was a fork which allowed for a pretty daring U-turn that allowed us to head back and make the correct turn into Positano. We made our way down to the Hotel La Bougainville where we had a reservation for the next three days. When we planned this trip, we only made two hotel reservations: Salmona and Positano. There was a private parking lot right across the street which was very easy and pretty reasonable from a price perspective. One complaint I see about Positano is the work to get your luggage to wherever you are staying and this was quite easy for us.

Positano was/is a feast for the eyes! And a bustling Disney World of sorts! We could only imagine what it was like in the summer. We walked up the stairs to the hotel lobby and finally got to meet Salvatore who had helped out Yvonne quite a bit with her booking a couple of months earlier. Salvatore arranged for our luggage to go up their elevator from the street level to our rooms. Mandy and I got a room with a balcony and a view, whereas JC and Yvonne’s room was not as nice. This is why I defaulted to the lesser rooms for a few of our previous stays.

This was our view at the Rada Beach Ristorante and was perfect place to kick off our next few days in Positano.

Positano loves lemons and we were greeted with at least a couple of stores right outside of our hotel that had every possible version of lemon-themed housewares and clothing. It became clear that Positano is very touristy! We had lunch a few doors down from the hotel at a restaurant called Ohima Brasserie. We had a very nice meal and were now primed to explore. Right by the hotel is the main walking thoroughfare to the beach which we headed down. We touched the Mediterranean for the first time. I saw a restaurant at the very end of the beach and thought we should check it out. The establishment was called the Rada Beach Ristorante. There were two couples talking to the hostess and it was clear they were going to be there for a while. I just walked past and headed up to a terrace I could see from below figuring they must be serving drinks with a great view. Sure enough, I was right. We got a great seat and ordered. The two couples showed up a little biut after us as well and we had a conversation with the ‘annoying’ dog lady and the rest of their crew. We would bump into them a few times in the next couple of days. As we were enjoying the view, we saw at least one marriage proposal on a boat and people in boats taking ‘couples’ pictures. It was quite entertaining. Young love!

This was our table at Da Vinzenzo the first night in Positano. The location, view and food was excellent. Maybe our best meal in Positano.

We received a dinner recommendation of Da Vincenzo from our new friends from the Rada. After checking out the beach and the harbor, we decided we would make our way to Da Vincenzo. This required climbing A LOT of stairs, which we knew coming into Positano that you are either ascending or descending. We finally found it and we were able to get a nice table right on the road with a great view. The local traffic goes right by you on this one-way street. The whole thing was awesome and it ended up being maybe our best meal in Positano. Our waiter was the son of the proprietor and the whole thing was owned by the Rafaella family. I forgot his name but he was great and passed on a lot of interesting info. He did not like the way we pronounced ‘Grazie’ and said real Italians put more emphasis on the ‘e’ at the end. We corrected ourselves accordingly.

We walked down the hill back to our hotel via Yummy’s for a gelato stop. JC was still struggling a little with the cold I gave him and he and Yvonne went back to their room for a little rest. Mandy and I thought we would go up Cristoforo Colombo which was the road outside our hotel and the main drag in Positano. We found an outside deck that was nicely decorated and served drinks called Franco’s. The drinks were very fancy along with their price. We each ordered something and they were quite good. There was a couple to my left that was roughly our age from Boston and a young couple to my right from San Jose. We had a great conversation with them both. JC and Yvonne showed up and we had another round of drinks and more conversation. It was a great way to cap off the night.

There is no doubt that Positano is unique and VERY picturesque.

Wednesday 5/6: We had a lovely breakfast at our hotel Bougainville. We got bus tickets to go up to Nocelle which is at the top of Positano. This bus ride was one for the ages. I had to stand and Mandy got to sit. The bus driver drove very quickly which was crazy and the road was full of really steep drops which seemed more extreme than our drive in, which is hard to believe. On the ride up Mandy made friends with a fellow passenger named Cida who was from Brazil. She was going to work and wanted to show us the restaurant she was working at. She told us to follow her which would prove to be a fair way down the Path of the Gods stairs. We noticed at the top of the stairs before heading down, that there was a mule tied to a wall. We would later find out that you can ride it up or down the many stairs which is the Path of the Gods.

She took us to La Fresella Ristorante owned by Vincenzo. This was a family affair as we saw his Mom and daughter along with a bunch of workers. We got the full tour which consisted of a pizza oven, outdoor dining room and table on the roof of a building with a spectacular view of Positano. It was looking a little rough but we got swept up in enthusiasm by our newfound friendship with Cida and now Vinzenzo and could ‘see the possibilities’. I thought we were going to eat there but it turns out we just got a tour. They showed us their Instagram page (La Fresella Ristorante). I followed them and they really have cleaned things up and made it quite nice.

Our new friends Cida and Vinzenzo from La Fresella Ristorante, we made our way down a lot of stairs for the lower half of the Path of the Gods.

After saying our goodbyes, we started down the 1,000 steps of the Path of the Gods as we didn’t want to climb back up to where we started. The end result is we never really got to see the town of Nocelle which is a little disappointing not knowing what we missed. The trip down was long and of course full of stairs. JC struggled some but after a while, we finally made it down. It ends on the road which was a good way south of Poistano. In light of JC’s struggle down, we elected to flag down a taxi and get driven back in to Positano. After a little effort we found one who had to circle back to pick us up and head in the right direction. The driver’s name was also Massimo and we dubbed him “tre”. The taxi experience is exactly what you would expect in Italy and particularly in Positano. Massimo tre was no fan of our current American political situation and also thought all tourists suck except Americans and Australians. We returned to the Bougainville for a little siesta and prepared for dinner.

We made our way to the next recommendation we got which was called Ristorante Mediterraneo. We got a nice outside seat and enjoyed another good meal highlighted with a singer taking requests for Italian songs. His name is Pietro Rainone who was a lot of fun. The waiters and almost everyone in the restaurant participated and made requests. Generally I am not a fan of this type of thing but this was good. We had to dig deep for Italian songs we knew. After dinner we cabbed home to the Bougainville.

When we go to the hotel, we decided we would check out a wine tasting room very close to the hotel called Le Tre Sorelle Wine Room. We met our sommelier whose name I have now forgotten and her not-mom. She was very nice and quite helpful. Mandy and I tried some grappa to confirm that it is tough to get through. Two young couples showed up and we talked to them for a while. One was from Orange County CA and newly married. The other couple was from Jacksonville and our guess was probably going to have a proposal in the next few days. They were all in the medical field. The couples left and it seemed like our hosts were anxious to go home so we moved on as well. We returned to the hotel and had drinks on the veranda and watched the elderly manager at the front desk fall asleep at his desk.

We were returning from Capri and the ferry really gave us a great view of Positano.

Thursday 5/7: We woke up and had breakfast at Bougainville. We then walked to the port and took the ferry to Capri. It was really nice to be able to see Positano from the sea and see it in its full glory. We met a mother-daughter combination from Boston and talked to them for a while on the way over. We finally arrived, got off the boat and decided we would take the tram up to the ‘center’ of town. We walked around a bunch checking things out and scoping a place for lunch. We of course went to look at a church which got us into a back alley that was off of one of the main roads and perched up high. I thought this might be a place where we could find a restaurant with a view, and I was right. We selected a place called Capri Capri which had a covered outside patio up high with a perfect view toward Italy and out over the harbor. This place is apparently the outpost of a famous pizzeria in Naples. Yvonne liked the young male waiters. We had another good meal.

This was our view at Capri Capri Pizzeria in Capri. Another good meal with another great view.

We decided we would check out the area toward the other side of the island and happened on a very posh section with high-end hotels and shops. Sort the Rodeo Drive of Capri. We checked out all the stores and decided that when we win the lottery, we could return and camp out at one of the hotels for a few days.

We got a nice view leaving Capri. You definitely could make an entire visit out of Capri, and maybe one day we will. We met a couple who also recommended Isola d’Ischia, which apparently is a lesser-known and just as beautiful island.

We had two ferry options to return to Positano, which were either 3 or 6 PM, and decided that we had gotten a good feel for Capri and would elect to take the 3 PM ferry, particularly since this was our last day. We took the tram back down to the port. We killed a little time at one of the cafes right at the port, which had these huge ‘franken-lemons’ on the table. Mandy and I thought we found someone’s ticket, and in point of fact, it was one of ours to return to Positano on the ferry, which I stupidly put down and almost didn’t get on the ferry back. The ferry ride both ways was very nice with lots of Mediterranean views.

This is JC at the top of Cristoforo Colombo looking for a last great restaurant for our Positano visit. It would also show us what our drive was going to look like the next day.

We returned to home base at the Bougainville. We got dressed in some fancier clothes for a last hoorah fancy dinner, despite not really having a firm destination. We met in the balcony and our hosts at the Bougainville, Rosa and Antonella served us preseco on the veranda. We then ventured out for our last dinner in Positano with a shaky reservation at Don Giovanni’s. I went to see if we could really get in there and they only had a table indoors. I really wanted this meal to be at a memorable location, so we pushed on heading up Cristoforo Colombo. We struggled a bit finding something. At the top of the road we found a couple of places but the location was not perfect. One called the ROC which was a bit of a hike and only served uncooked meat which you had to cook yourself.

The last supper in Positano at the Terrazza Celè restaurant.

We headed back down Cristoforo Colombo. Walking on the outside sidewalk which showed us a good view of everything below, we could see a patio restaurant that looked to be a part of a hotel. It appeared to be very high-end so we presumed we could not get in without a reservation. You had to take an elevator down so I volunteered to check it out. Sure enough, they would seat us so I texted everyone to come on down to Terrazza Celè at the Hotel Marincanto. The atmosphere was a ten but the meal was a six. The last confirmation that meals at hotel restaurants were not as good as those at regular restaurants. We walked back to Le Tre Sorelle Wine Room and talked to our favorite sommelier, whose name we still can’t remember. She told us her life story which was interesting and an insight into life on the Amalfi Coast. There was an Austrian couple that walked in and we thought we were going to have a repeat of the night before with good conversation with other tourists, but no, as I think we scared them and they left. Mandy and I had some excellent port wine. It had gotten pretty late and we eventually went to bed.

We got a great view of the northern end of Positano on our walk home.

Friday 5/8: We woke up and went down to our last breakfast at the Bougainville. The hotel was perfect and an ideal spot for our three days in Positano. We checked out and said goodbye to Salvatore. We got everything in the car and pulled out of the parking spot and were ready to leave. After Yvonne and Mandy bought some Positano tchotchkes and ornaments. Goodbye Positano!

We hit the road and headed north to eventually get to Rome and the airport. We first drove through Sorrento which seemed to be pretty nice. It was a fairly sizeable city. Then we drove through Napoli where the Pope was planning to visit that same day. We were hoping to miss any additional traffic he may be creating and for the most part, it was clear sailing. Napoli was a decidedly big city and came with a reputation of being hardscrabble, poor and Mafia-influenced. We did not stop. We also could see Mount Vesuvius and debated whether we should stop and also see the Lost City of Pompeii. We really didn’t have a lot of time and so that was a somewhat easy decision.

We debated whether we should head straight to Rome, which would take us inland or we should go around Naples and head to the coast and drive the highway that hugs the Mediterranean. We opted for the latter and made our way to Pozzuoli. We worked our way in town towards the harbor where we ended up parking. We got out and walked through a nice but a bit rugged old town and ended up at the Piazza della Repubblica. We stopped at Mapò Wine & Food for some coffee. Afterwards, we headed back to the car and JC found what appeared to be a really authentic Napoli pizza. He was upset he did not get a slice, as this was one of the few places we found in Italy that sold pizza by the slice.

We continued up the coast and came upon Mondragone, which was a small, sleepy beach town that was very deserted. We drove around a bit going right to the water. We did eventually find an open restaurant called Ristorante e Pizzeria Cielo e Mare, which was a bit of a challenge as no one was around and it was siesta time as well. We were the only ones in there and they said we could come in. We got a good table right on the edge of the beach. This was clearly a family restaurant, and there was a Nona who was doing the cooking. There were some other relatives who were working which we guess was an effort to get ready for the summer. The meals were surprisingly good. JC ordered a mystery seafood dish. The family was very nice and we talked with them a bit.

We returned to the car and headed for Rome. We opted to go inland and abandon the coastal drive. We arrived around 5 PM. We had a reservation at the Hilton, which was right at the airport. We dropped our bags off and got our hotel rooms. The hotel was quite busy. I drove the car back to the rental return. Some kid inspected it and did not see any damage from our wedge situation in Gioia del Colle.

JC and Yvonne went to the executive lounge for free drinks. We met them there and decided we should have dinner as Mandy and I needed to get up relatively early to catch our flight. The meal was very average and it was like we were not in Italy anymore. This is why I ended up ordering a burger, as getting Italian food didn’t seem appropriate! We said our goodbyes on the 5th floor executive wing of the Hilton hotel!

And with that, the journey was officially over. Hard to believe! What an amazing two weeks it was! It really could not have worked out better. Southern Italy was a combination of ancient beauty, warm and generous people, all delivered through our spontaneous itinerary.

And again, the purpose of this accounting of the trip is selfishly for my own reference when I have forgotten the details of what really was a trip of a lifetime, filled with discovery, amazing views, wrong turns, characters, food and wine, and most importantly, good friends!

A few of the standout recurring themes:

  • Italian towns require a hill to build a church and a fort at the top with a town to surround it

  • Italians love convening in public areas to catch up and pass the time

  • The search for locals and authentically Italian spots

  • Ching ching - lots of food, wine and good conversation

  • Lucky a number of times to run into a few cultural events

  • Unexpected kindness from locals

  • Narrow roads, alleys and some interesting parking

Death of a Salesman: The Gregg Friedman Story

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Death of a Salesman: The Gregg Friedman Story

On the evening of Monday January 7th, 2019, I received a text message from my friend Eric Butler that he heard something bad had happened with our friend Gregg Friedman. The details were few. I reached out to Gregg and there was no answer. There was nothing really on the internet but a vague police report about an incident at Gregg’s home in San Francisco with his wife Vickki and their two boys Lucas and Max. At some point the next morning, I received confirmation that Gregg had shot himself at his house on Monday morning.

Some people are just born to sell and Gregg Friedman was the best example of this that I have known. However, Gregg was much more than just a salesman. He was a generous, very loyal and adventurous friend. His death was quite shocking and unexpected. The following is my recollection of some of the many really great times with my friend.

This was taken on the side of some river in southern New Zealand

This was taken on the side of some river in southern New Zealand on an epic two-week adventure we had with Eric Butler and Bill Miller. We had just helicoptered into the world’s highest bungee jump and jet boated down the river. We were getting ready to white water raft and finish the final leg of the ‘Awesome Foursome’.

I distinctly recall the first time I met Gregg. I was hanging out with Bill Miller in San Francisco, and he said we should go to a bar where one of his friends from college from the University of Rhode Island was hanging out. I can see the space in my head but I don’t recall the name of the bar other than it was on Fillmore Street right below Union. He was sitting at a table and there were some other people around. Introductions were made. He was further into the night from an alcohol consumption perspective than Bill and I were. My first impression of him was that he was kind of annoying. He was determined to play dice. I had never played dice before and didn’t know how to play but that did not deter Gregg. Not only did we play a lot of dice that night, but it would be a game that would weave through my thirty-year relationship with him. Fittingly, the last night I spent with him two months before his death, we played a pretty epic game of dice.

Gregg was a force of nature and single-handedly was the catalyst for some of my favorite stories and memories. Gregg had many good qualities but his one shortcoming was his inability to apply conditional thinking; if I do ‘this’, the result will be …. ? And often the answer was something bad. Gregg had a lot of nicknames from his many friends, but I would often refer to him as “Bubble Boy”. Meaning, he lived his life in the here and now, and consequences be damned. This would suggest he knew or had considered the consequences and opted to continue. My experience was that he was purely impulsive. The end result for Bubble Boy was a slew of crazy results. The following are some of the best ones that I remember.

The next few were small things that have stuck with me. On a random weekday night, Gregg had convinced me and some others to go out for drinks. We would often go to Union Street in San Francisco, which in the 90’s had a number of very good options. There was one place called Cal’s that was in the basement of a newer office-like building. Cal’s was on the bottom half of drinking possibilities that focused on dancing. Our friend John Corrigan bartended there for a while and I can’t remember if that was the reason we selected Cal’s this night. After a little while, Gregg eyed some young lady to ask to dance and she obliged. As I recall, they were either the only people dancing. Gregg went hard on his moves which in my mind did not match the vibes of that night in any way. After about twenty minutes of this, they take a break. Gregg returned back to whoever joined his to report, “I think my dancing has REALLY turned the corner”. That statement struck as so odd and surprising that it has stuck with me to this day. And it really typified Gregg’s whole ethos.

Somehow Gregg connected with two guys named Tommy and Tomas who amongst other things, were associated with the Young Scandinavian Club. What is YSC you ask? Just what it sounds like; a group of young people with Scandinavian heritage throwing parties and trips. And it lived up to what you thought you would expect with parties in San Francisco, Clear Lake, Tahoe and a bunch of other places. What made it a perfect Gregg Friedman situation is he became a member with no Scandinavian heritage. Soon after I applied as well. My mother is Danish and was a legitimate prospective member. I had to jump through umpteen hoops to prove my Danish lineage including getting a copy of my great-grandfather’s Danish birth certificate. Which gets me back to Gregg. How he became a member is inexplicable and when I would ask, he would say he had a sliver of Swedish blood. This situation summed up many aspects of the Gregg experience.

Bill Miller, Eric Butler, Gregg and I went on an epic trip to both New Zealand and Australia in November 1993. This trip created a Gregg story every day. And there are a few of them that were epic.

This is a video that the bungee company AJ Hacket took of ur jumps. Gregg went first and is visibly nervous. I went last and so any nerves were overidden by having to do it because everyone else already did. At the time, it was the world’s highest bungee jump.

Horizontal Bungee: We had planned before we left on this trip to do the world’s highest bungee jump in Queenstown, New Zealand. There was a package called the ‘Awesome Foursome’ which included helicoptering into the mountains to the suspension bridge, where we would do the bungee jump. After the jump, they lowered you into a jet boat, where we would then jet down the river and then we did class 4 whitewater rafting. It was an epic adventure and got the trip started with a bang. For me, the scariest part was the helicopter ride in. The chopper would severely shudder and shake as we went over and across the peaks of the mountains.

After a successful day, we went back to Queenstown and went to a local bar that had a ‘horizontal bungy jump’ for patrons. They would put you in a harness and there was a bungee cord bolted to the wall. About 50 feet down they would put a beer on a table. You got three tries to run as hard as you can to try to grab the beer. Behind the beer on the table were about four or five rows of tables and patrons who would watch.

So of course, Gregg was the first to volunteer to try. The crowd and he were pumped. After some fanfare, he launched for his first try. Gregg had a low center of gravity so he had a good chance of success. However, he was a bit tentative on the first try and came up empty. Now with a feel of what he was in for, his second attempt was much more determined, but still he came up shy, grasping for the beer which was a few feet away. Now he was down to his last chance and Gregg was pretty competitive, not to mention the crowd encouraging him on. He launched himself down the track with everything he had. Just when the bungee really began to get taught, the anchor on the wall at the beginning let go. Gregg was in full momentum and proceeded to fly by the beer and into the crowd that had gathered on the other side of the beer. He went through the crowd and tables like a bowling ball through pins with people, beer and tables flying. Somehow, he managed to grab the beer as he flew by it and miraculously didn’t break any bones as he crashed through the crowd. There was a momentary hush after things settled a little, and then Gregg jumped up with beer in hand and roared. The crowd went crazy.

ATVs and Dennis: We decided to go on an ATV tour to old abandoned mines in the mountains of Queenstown. We showed up to the guide’s shop. There was a ‘well-fed’ gentleman behind the counter who introduced himself as Dennis and let us know that he would be guiding us up to the abandoned mines. He asked whether we had ridden ATVs before and for the most part, we said sort of, even though the real answer was effectively no. He wanted us to practice in a large area right next to his shop. So we each got our machines and a little lesson on how to operate the vehicle. He asked us to spend 20 to 30 minutes getting comfortable with the machines.

We started going around the various practice trails and testing our abilities. We definitely were getting better and more confident. About halfway through our training period, Gregg was in front of me and yelled to me to watch him do some stunt that he had cooked up. He gunned it and then proceeded to run nearly straight into this giant concrete block. The ATV comes to a dead stop and Gregg flips over the handlebars with one hand still gripping the handlebars and lying flat on top of the concrete block. For a minute, I thought he was dead. It was quite violent. He gets up a bit stunned and says he is alright. We then notice pretty quickly that the front end of his ATV is bent out very much out-of-line. By this time, Eric and Bill showed up, and I explained what had happened. The ATV was rideable but one front wheel was noticeably pushed back. We all stood around Gregg’s ATV debating what the approach with Dennis should be. However based on the damage there were not a lot of options.

We returned to Dennis’ office with the strategy of putting Gregg in the back and hoping Dennis wouldn’t notice. This lasted about two minutes. Dennis was providing the last bit of instructions and then all of a sudden his head turned, his talking stopped and he started walking towards Gregg. He uttered something to the effect of ‘what the hell happened to the front of this ATV’? Gregg gave some half-hearted ‘I’m not sure’ which carried no water with Dennis. There was some back and forth and Dennis declared to Gregg, ‘Well now you are going to have to ride with me’.

Dennis wasn’t riding an ATV. He had a dirt bike. Gregg would get on the dirt bike with Dennis and wrap his arms around Dennis’ rather large stomach holding on for dear life. The tour was about four hours and the entire time when we would stop or we would catch Gregg away from Dennis, we would refer to him as Dennis’ liettle bitch. It was hilarious to see Gregg have to mount the bike with Dennis and see his face as Dennis raced up and down these mountains.

This was us in Cairns, Australia near the Great Barrier Reef about to scuba dive. I think this was the first time for all of us. We got a five-minute overview from a thick Australian accent on what to do and not to do. Needless to say, liability is not a big concern down under and Gregg would test those limits.

Scuba Diving on the Great Barrier Reef: We had made our way north in Australia to Cairns. This parto Australia was quite tropical. We went here to scuba dive on the Great Barrier Reef. None of us really had any suba experience, but in Australia, no problem. I remember the evening we got there we wandered down to the water and found a guy with a sailboat that took scuba tours. So we signed up and were going to leave the following morning.

We showed up, goit in the boat and proceeded to motor (on a sailboat) to the Great Reef which took over an hour. We finally got there and suited up with all the equipment. We sat on the edge of the sailboat and got instructions on what to do. It was pretty windy that day and I was at the end. I had a hard time hearing and misheard the instructions on your vest that provided floatation. Had I not asked, I would have jumped in and sunk right to the bottom which would not have been fatal but not good.

We all jumped in, went to the bottom and checked in with our scuba guide. He counted four of us and we proceeded to follow him and explore the reef. He would stop about every five minutes, circle up and give a count to make sure we were all there. This went on for about twenty minutes. With time we were getting a little more adventurous. And then at some point we circled up and our guide counted one, two, three. In an instant, I knew Gregg was missing. I was already starting to think of bad scenarios as to where Gregg was and what may have happened to him. The guide asked us, all with hand gestures, to sit at the bottom of the Great Barrier Reef and wait for him to go look around to see if he could find Gregg.

Our guide returned after about five minutes and did yet another count; one, two and yes, still just three of us, not four. He did this a couple of times which nearly made my head explode. We were asked to sit again at the bottom of the ocean and wait for him to look around. And upon his return, the same result and the same stupid counting; YES, still just three of us. He did this about five times in total which was inexplicable to me.

While we were waiting for probably what was twenty minutes in total, I was imagining the phone call we would need to make to his mother explaining the situation. Which was totally inexplicable but that was the Gregg experience. Mercifully, we finally went to the surface and we could see Gregg swimming on the surface about two hundred yards away. We all swam to the boat and of course grilled Gregg as to what happened. His response was very unsatisfying. Our Great Barrier Reef experience came to an end and we went back to shore.

There are a hundred other Gregg stories. Being with Gregg was rarely boring. Gregg was a special person in a good way. He was a very good friend, but more importantly a good son, brother, father and person.

I had visited Gregg the November before his death. It was a 25-year reunion of ur New Zealand and Australia trip. I showed up at his house midday on a Saturday. His wife and kids had gone to their grandparents in San Luis Obispo. We caught up over a beer in his living room. He conveyed that he was having some family issues and personal challenges, but seemed to be in reasonably good shape. In typical Gregg fashion, instead of hitting the town, we ended up going to a neighbor’s house for a fundraiser for his kid’s basketball team. Initially I couldn’t believe I traveled to San Francisco to hang out at some house but it turned out to be a really fun time.

We had a surprisingly great night hanging out at one of Gregg’s neighbor’s house. This is the last time I would see Gregg.

I have spent the last month trying to figure out what could have happened. And while there are some threads to pull, it still doesn’t add up. Gregg was a better friend to me than I was to him. He would randomly call me up just to check in. I will miss those calls and it is hard not to believe that we probably had a few more adventures.

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Examination of Entrepreneurial Desires

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Examination of Entrepreneurial Desires

I have had some minor entrepreneurial successes in my life. I have also had some real failures, and when I look back at all my entrepreneurial activities as objectively as possible, regrettably the failures are greater than the wins. And if you are to believe the various rates of success for businesses bandied about, I guess I shouldn't be surprised by my results. Regardless, I find my track record disappointing. The following is a recap of my history that got me to my biggest and most risky entrepreneurial adventure and some details about the good, the bad and the ugly of those experiences.

I have let a little bit of time go by in hopes of gaining some perspective on my experience. And maybe it really requires some more time, but I feel that during the six years I labored to birth and grow BuyGreen.com, I was relatively objective and introspective about my results or lack thereof, and that now is a good time to encapsulate my thinking. One thought that comes to mind as I begin the analysis is that maybe there is only one question that requires an answer. Am I an entrepreneur at heart, or as many investors might challenge, a 'wantrepreneur'? I do believe that true entrepreneurs are definitely a unique breed, and while I am certain there are many exceptions, I think there is a certain personality that is required to build and grow an idea into a real and successful business. And so the answer to this singular question for me is yes. However, I qualify it by believing I have very strong entrepreneurial traits and capabilities but think that I am collaborative and need 'partners' to be successful. And I suspect that is true for many, but I struggled to find good partners in my various efforts.

So let’s start at the beginning. For as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by business and innovation. In reflection, I think the genesis of my entrepreneurial passions began in eighth grade. My school was having some sort of food drive. I do not even recall who the beneficiary of this effort was intended to be. Participation was out of character for my eighth grade self, but for whatever reason, I decided that I would actually make an effort to contribute and collect some food. Now I could have just raided my parents’ cabinet and been done, and quite honestly, I am somewhat surprised that that wasn't the extent of my efforts. However, I decided to start going to my neighbors and asking them for a donation to bolster my final offering. So out I went and I think to my surprise, I started to have some success. People would actually give me cans. After the first night I recall organizing and accounting 'the haul' in the basement of my childhood home and thinking, wow, I bet I could collect a lot more. And out I went the following evening with more success. I was hooked by the challenge and bolstered by my success. How many cans could I collect? And so I went out night after night for what was probably a week and collected a substantial amount of canned food. Ideally, I probably should have been motivated by making an above-average contribution to humanity and making the world a slightly better place. But no, I just stared at all the cans I collected night after night and reveled in my accomplishment. On the final day of the drive, my father and I loaded our station wagon and I delivered all my cans to the school food drive. I don't know with a hundred percent certainty, but I am pretty confident that no one collected as much as I did. And that felt good to me. I am also pretty sure that my efforts had little to no impact on my peer’s perception of me as some sort of social ancillary benefit. Collecting cans was not exactly cool. But for me, it was a personal victory. I won, which was probably a competition that only I was playing, but was victorious nonetheless.

Some other entrepreneurial-ish efforts and experiences include closely following a building boom occurring in Hartford, Connecticut in the 1980s. My father was an architect, I enjoyed building stuff and there was a dose of local pride that helped formulate this interest. I would read the Hartford Courant business section religiously every day at breakfast throughout high school looking for updates to the many projects being planned and built. As I would look for these updates, I would also read about many other business activities in Connecticut. This unwitting education really whetted my appetite and gave me a broad view of the many aspects of business. In college, there were a number of money-making schemes that largely revolved around parties. We would throw parties to make money which also had the nice ancillary benefit of marginally improving my social status. One of the better college opportunities was selling whippits (nitrous oxide). A high school friend of mine had a fraternity buddy at his college whose father owned a medical supply company. They would sell these large containers of nitrous oxide for dentists. I forget the exact numbers, but the profit margins were very good. If memory serves, I would buy a container for about $200 and there were some transportation expenses as well; generally, somebody driving from Pennsylvania to New Jersey. We would then buy a few boxes of hefty bags and sell them for $20 which of course came with a complete whippit fill. You could fill at least 50 bags and maybe more from a single canister; they were quite big. I would pocket at least a thousand dollars. And the parties were very popular. Needless to say, I couldn't buy enough of these tanks. Unfortunately after getting about five to seven of these canisters, my connection got busted by his dad and the supply was cut off. In retrospect, it was probably for the best.

SpheriCon was my construction company that I had after working for a couple of contractors and believed I could do it better myself. And for the most part, I did do it better. We did mostly residential construction including additions, remodels and …

SpheriCon was my construction company that I had after working for a couple of contractors and I believed I could do it better myself. And for the most part, I did do it better. We did mostly residential construction including additions, remodels and decks like the one above.

When college ended, I started a construction company a few years after working for a 'coke-head' who owned a company that built decks, and another outfit that concentrated on remodeling work in the west-end of Hartford. My company SpheriCon had a number of jobs and made some good money for about a year, but I was starting to get my itch to move to California. And so that business never really matured the way it might of, and the economy also began to tank, particularly in the Northeast. Construction was a great experience and I never worked harder, but adventure was calling my name and I moved out west. In California, I became friendly with a band called Scarlet Theory through some friends at work and thought I could help them 'make it big'. So I started a record company called Capsize Records. The band had some success but as a business, investing in talent was a highly improbable money-maker and for me, was definitely a complete loser. The half-full view of it was I learned how to market and create some buzz! This has served me well in business activities later in life. The takeaway from this effort was that in the entertainment business, there is very little correlation between hard work and success. While talent is important, particularly I think for established artists maintaining a long-term career, it is not the most important factor for breaking into the business. And maybe I just wanted it more than the talent really deserved? I hate losing. And this trait is something that you find was important in the many heralded entrepreneurial successes, but for me, it just proved to be expensive.

Capsize Records had a few bands but Scarlet Theory was by far an a way the most successful and consumed the most time and money. Their height was early on when the one Best New Artist and opened the BAMMIES at the Warfield Theater. It was a long slo…

Capsize Records had a few bands but Scarlet Theory was by far and away the most successful and consumed the most time and money. Their height was early on when they won the Best New Artist and opened the BAMMIES at the Warfield Theater. It was a long slow glide to dissolving to nothing from there.

So the very beginning of BuyGreen.com really started with me taking a great deal of interest in a business that a friend from Scarlet Theory was trying to grow. Eirik O'Neal was working with his father to learn and take over a business that he had created and worked on for many years. The model was a consulting-based business that generated revenue from cost savings for the companies they worked with to reduce their trash hauling expense. I knew this model well as I had just created a successful business for AIG using the very same methodology. The basics of Eirik's business were that there are a number of industries that have elements of their waste stream that could either be diverted, thus reducing trash hauling costs, or in some instances, generate revenue from the waste. I had always been very interested in the environment and thought this was an intriguing model that was leveraging inefficiencies found in many businesses. They were also chipping away at an aspect of the trash hauling industry that had monopolistic characteristics with few outside forces challenging its traditional business model. I started researching the business and liked it more and more. Some part of my interest was merely the allure of having a business and being entrepreneurial. Eirik and I had always gotten along historically and things started well in this new partnership. He expressed to me that he was anxious to take over his father's business and really grow it, but by himself, he was struggling to modernize the way his father had done things historically. This was a source of frustration for him and I was full of new ideas. I was more than happy to see if I could inject myself into this opportunity. My strategy was to create a new company that would do the same thing and Eirik and I would be partners. It effectively was an end-run on his father and not what he had planned with respect to mentoring his son and eventually handing off the business. I was definitely the third wheel. After several months, Eirik was effectively given an ultimatum by his father to choose who he was going to partner with, and blood does run thicker than water. I don't blame Eirik for his decision but I was definitely not happy with being the bride's maid. Mostly because I was led to believe that he wanted to partner with me and I had made both a financial and emotional investment as a result of those assurances. The outcome soured our relationship which is something I now regret. In retrospect, my strategy was short-sighted and really did not properly account for the dynamics of the situation. 

An ancillary aspect of the waste business was getting questions from clients as to where they could source eco-friendly products. This was the seed for the idea of BuyGreen.com, which was basically going to be a one-stop online shop for both individual consumers and businesses. Eirik and I were going to set up this business as a subsidiary to our consulting venture and have the wife of a 'co-worker' of mine at AIG run the day-to-day operations. Her name was Allison Huke and she was very interested in green products and an eco-friendly lifestyle. The arrangement seemed to be a good opportunity and partnership. Eirik and I would focus on our consulting business, but dedicate a portion of our efforts to get the eCommerce business off the ground. And so the company was officially born in late 2006 and we began putting together the building blocks. My relationship with Eirik was good through the spring of 2007 but began to unravel in May as his father increased the pressure on deciding who his partner would be. Eirik finally ran out of wiggle room and made his decision. We went our separate ways by June. I never let Allison know of the situation that was occurring with Eirik. From a full disclosure perspective, I certainly owed her some information, but I thought it would be distracting and might create an opportunity for her to rethink the current arrangement. The consulting business called Renovos owned seventy percent of Green Retail and Wholesale, and BuyGreen.com which was to be our first retail brand; we were thinking big. When my relationship soured with Eirik, I started spending a lot of time on BuyGreen.com. I did keep the Renovos operational and dedicated a fair amount of time to that as well; largely out of spite. I wanted to prove that I could create a successful business and I really did not need Eirik or his father. My thinking was the business model was pretty straightforward and creating success was largely about marketing and sales. Something that we collectively agreed they lacked and I excelled in. The partnership and camaraderie were the fuel for me to make that meaningful and while I had some successes, Renovos died a slow death over the next few years.

All this time I was an executive for a division of AIG and had very much enjoyed my time there, and my somewhat lengthy career in insurance. However, I was definitely restless and believed that I could and should be an entrepreneur. This crystallized for me in early 2006 when the CEO had taken me out to lunch to tell me that he wanted me to focus on a technology product I had created called MEDInnovation. Previously I had a dual role as CIO and VP of Business Development, the latter portion was largely running MEDInnovation. In my CIO duties, I had gone to great lengths over a year or two to get our IT personnel to a place that could really help the organization grow and excel. And just as I was going to begin to reap those efforts, it was taken away from me. I was not happy. And while it probably was the right decision from the organization’s perspective, I was convinced I could do both. I remember driving by myself from the restaurant where he let me know of this change and on my way back to the office, I concluded I was moving on. Over the last half of 2007, I emotionally checked out of my job at AIG as I was very excited about my new business opportunities.

We launched the BuyGreen.com site in the summer of 2007 which at the time I thought was a great accomplishment. I sort of recall thinking that we would turn it on and the orders would just start appearing; definitely a naive view of ‘build it and they will come’. The first non-friend and family order did happen relatively quickly, which in hindsight was even more remarkable as we did not have a huge number of products. The business did begin to grow relatively quickly, although it was something from nothing.  And while the 'build it and they will come' was a part of our thinking, there certainly was much more to our business plan than just this. The key elements of the actual business plan were the combination of a broad offering of everything you buy normally, but a carefully curated eco-friendly and healthier versions of these everyday purchases. Of the few competitors that were out there at the time we started, no one really had an objective and transparent rating system that was applied to every product. Often it was difficult to tell specifically why, much less to what extent a product was green, and there was never any comparative perspective of any product, green or traditional. The second key element of our business model was the creation of our Green Products Standard, which required each supplier or manufacturer to complete a rigorous questionnaire on every product. The result of this analysis was a detailed two-page report on every product and our numeric rating. This allowed our customers either a quick understanding or a detailed review of why the product was green to any customer who was interested. Our tag line was 'Your Trusted Source for Green Products, and this standard and effort was the keystone to creating trust. I had created this on my own and it was the beginning of thinking that the efforts applied by my partner and me were disproportionately unfair to my disadvantage.

This was early on when we had an Open House and this was ribbon cutting ceremony with the City of Irvine's Chamber of Commerce. We were optimistic and full of energy. Allison Huke was my co-founder and Nicole Roach was our first employee.

This was early on when we had an Open House and this was a ribbon-cutting ceremony with the City of Irvine's Chamber of Commerce. We were optimistic and full of energy. Allison Huke was my co-founder and Nicole Roach was our first employee.

So I really focused on BuyGreen.com and online retail. My partner was the wife of an individual who I spent a lot of time in my previous corporate career. He was the head of sales from our technology partner and we traveled all over the country trying to sell the product I had created. In our many travels, he and I would talk about my doing something entrepreneurial. A good portion of my view that I should be an entrepreneur was based on my belief that I was creating a product that would make millions for AIG and transform an industry, but everyone around me was going to benefit financially and I was stuck as a salaried employee; albeit nicely compensated, but certainly not getting rich. My view of things was more about what could happen versus what actually was or did happen, although the results we did accomplish were significant. My associate's wife, and now new business partner seemed like she was going to be a good fit. She was passionate about this space and really represented our customers. She was smart and very competent. Things started off well. However, as I look at it now, I think this view was largely based on both a 'honeymoon' period and the prospect of doing something big with our unproven opportunity. We worked relatively well together, but I never felt as though it really clicked. We were cordial and professional, but things were forced to some degree and ultimately it was never a partnership in the truest sense. A good partnership for me was dependent on each one of us carrying our own 'weight'. As time went on, I lost more and more confidence that Allison was meeting this standard that I felt was critical. This condition was exacerbated early on when my other initial partner from the consulting business flamed out because it created a situation where equity was open for renegotiation. The consulting business and 'parent' company owned seventy percent of BuyGreen.com. When I knew that it was completely over, which took a while, I had to tell Allison that it was going to be just me and her. After a few weeks, she called me to say she wanted to renegotiate our deal since it was just the two of us. I was not excited by this as we had made a deal a while ago, and I also felt that the current 70/30 was probably appropriate for what our contributions already were and would likely be going forward. Maybe I was being greedy, and maybe I thought quite a bit of myself. Nonetheless, I relented and we ended up doing a 60/40 split. I knew the second I agreed to it, that in time I would grow to hate it. Listen to your gut.

After launching in the summer of 2007, we were coming to our first holiday season. We were adding as many products as we could and things were starting to get busier. I was still working at AIG but was able to spend much of my time working on BuyGreen.com. I remember going to an industry conference in Chicago, and my partner’s husband was there as well. He and I were entertaining some mutual clients. He came to me just before a business lunch to say his wife had called him and she was having a hard time. He asked me to call her. I returned to my hotel room and gave her a call. Basically, she was struggling keeping up with everything that had to be done both for the business and being a mother of two kids. We agreed that she could and should hire someone to help out a few hours per day. After I got off the call, I thought to myself that I really needed to spend all my time on the business, and I began preparing to quit my corporate job. I took out a credit line against my home and with my savings, I had a cushion for two years. As I look at this point of time in retrospect, I have two basic thoughts; one, I was being pressured both by my partner and myself to contribute more time and two, that leaving my well-paying corporate job was an act of selfishness. In respect to pressure both internal and external, there was an optimistic sense that the business could really take off and not dedicating my time could both jeopardize that potential and I was worried there would a perception that I needed to carry my weight within the partnership, valued strictly by time; this was a perspective largely imposed on me by myself and I am not sure that it was every areal issue to my partner. The second issue was selfishness, which was basically because this decision potentially could have a huge impact on my family and as a result, I was not being a good father and husband. I knew I was taking a financial risk that realistically would likely not pay any returns; i.e. nine in ten businesses fail. All that being said, I REALLY wanted this and completely bought into the entrepreneurial dream. I felt I had a winner. So in March of 2008, I quit my job and worked full-time on the business. 

Allison and I spent two years running the business as a partnership in total. Things started off well. We were growing at a pretty quick rate, even from a month-over-month perspective. We were working out of our respective houses and doing packing and shipping of orders from Allison's house. In a few months, we decided to rent a self-storage locker and put all our inventory there. Allison also had a relationship that owned a PR company and we entered into a relationship with them. We spent a lot of our time adding new products. We believed this was very important to our model which was offering a broad selection of carefully vetted products. We were also starting to meet with a number of potential suppliers, partners and investors but did not have an office. This I believed was a real shortcoming. How can you be a business without an office and warehouse? So I began to look for a new space, and in short order, we found a good space. It was in Irvine which I thought held some cache from a national perspective and was a very reasonable distance from both our respective homes. The space was new as well, which was very nice. And by July (2008) we were in the new space. I had found a defunct mortgage company that sold me a bunch of cubicles cheap, from a Herman Miller perspective, but expensive from a new startup perspective. This also required a great deal of sweat equity on my part but we were trying to get out in front of our anticipated growth so we would have space to expand. Things seemed to be shaping up. And then the fall of 2008 hit and everything changed with respect to what we had planned. Originally our plan was to address proof of concept for about 12 or 18 months and then seek investment. As the world economy was imploding, getting investment was a dream that vaporized. So as we watched what was happening and prepared for the holiday season, we forged on. We then assessed everything shortly after the Christmas season and decided that all things considered, we were still OK and that we should hunker down and forge ahead.

During this time, Allison was struggling with a number of personal issues and this impacted both her ability to dedicate time to the business and maybe more importantly, I think her enthusiasm for the struggle disappeared. We had hired a neighbor of hers, Nicole Roach who would handle a lot of the customer service and shipping duties with Allison overseeing these areas. However, Allison’s activity over time dwindled, which was fine because Nicole was very competent and ultimately I think managed these areas better. However, Allison's shrinking participation began to have a negative impact on morale and enthusiasm from my perspective as her partner, but also our now one employee. She would spend less and less time at the office and it was harder and harder to tell what she was doing to contribute to the company. When she would show up, our relationship was good, but not great. Things grew more strained and I began to dread her arrival. She also felt that the company was not growing fast enough, it was losing money and on top of it all, we were not getting paid. She just thought we should throw in the towel. Her concerns were real and not only accurate, but they were also rational as well. My thought however was that it takes businesses often more years than the two we had invested to show profits; I would always reference that Amazon made no profits in its first eight years. And realistically, I really had no great options to get a paying job. So while I recognized our challenges, I did not think they were particularly unique for a young company, particularly based on the state of the economy. I would tell her that if she could find a buyer, I would take any offers presented very seriously, but until then, I was NOT just going to close the doors.

I wanted to make the business work and thought we should dedicate ourselves to changing the issues she raised, and we were both very concerned about it. We should not quit but double down and make the business a success. But in the summer of 2009, her father became sick and then died. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back and she wanted out. She had asked me to buy her out. However, my assessment of the business was it was not worth anything and that not only was I not going to write her a check for her 40%, but that she would need to pay off her portion of the liabilities to get out. Needless to say, she did not share my perspective. She then elected to just walk away. I assessed the business to decide if the one asset that I thought had real value, the URL BuyGreen.com was worth letting her walk away. And while it was hard to truly assess the URL's value, I opted to let her walk away.

And so I pressed on. My employee Nicole Roach stayed with the company which was very important with respect to our ability to both function and have the possibility of continuing to grow. We were both relieved when Allison was finally gone and Nicole was effectively a better 'partner' than Allison ever was. We also had a young man working for us part-time who started out as an intern and we elected to bring on. Daniel Givechian was young and eager to learn. He too contributed to the growth of the company. Essentially the three of us worked to grow the business over the next few years and we were successful, but not at a pace that was really required for this type of business. We opened a new site called GreenCouture.com which was going to focus on higher-end clothing and accessories. I had plans to open up a number of different eCommerce brands with a focus on sustainability, the environment and social causes. I tried twice to raise money in the summer of 2009 and for about 6 months in late 2011. I had many discussions during the second effort, but nobody wrote a check. During those years I worked extraordinarily hard day in and day out but could never get the company to a place where it could even be a 'lifestyle' business. In the fall of 2013, Nicole left for a better job. She had been very dedicated and I could not have gotten as far as I did without her efforts, but she was capable of a lot more and I was not paying her a lot of money. I lucked out and found a very good replacement, Loren Anselmo. I also had a bright and hardworking young man reach out to me by the name of Kambiz Sharvhini who started interning as a bookkeeper and quickly took on many additional roles. The business continued to grow but again the pace was not fast enough. I looked for a number of strategic partnerships that were either in our space, or other retailers that might be looking for an eco-friendly channel. I had many conversations, but no one made any meaningful offers. I began feeling trapped. The course I was on, was not personally sustainable, but I had committed so much that it was hard to rationalize how walking away would be a good solution. I even began to look for 'regular' jobs and I would then just let the business run with Loren and Kambiz who were certainly capable of running it with only some guidance. Nothing really came of any of these efforts. In the spring of 2014, I had made the decision that I was going to sell. I found a broker who specialized in eCommerce businesses and so the process began. I had a couple of very early offers that were bottom-feeding and at my broker's recommendation, we passed. I did get one solid offer (and in hindsight a very good offer), but it was a good bit under my asking price. I countered and the buyer found another business that distracted her and while she remained interested in mine, the offer fell through. I terminated the contract with the broker after 90 days and put my head back down to continue slugging away. And the progress continued, but still, the pace was never fast enough. My 'runway' was really coming to an end. After the 2014 holiday, I contacted a new business broker and put the business up for sale again. 

I sold BuyGreen.com in April of this year, 2015. I had put in seven years which seems unbelievable to me and in many ways, committing that much of my life was crazy. I think the business was a good idea and the timing was reasonable, but with the collapse of the economy, maybe not ideal. In some ways, we were too early with respect to broad acceptance of these kinds of products, but with respect to eCommerce, I think starting earlier would have been better. That being said, we could never get investment which was critical to scale and bring in talent. Ultimately, Amazon and the competitive landscape that it created were a headwind that became too much. The last round of putting the business up for sale created a fair amount of interest, but we only received two real offers. One from an outfit that had some real eCommerce experience, and one from a husband and wife that were looking for a lifestyle business but lacked both eCommerce experience and what seemed to be an entrepreneurial business experience. The offer from the latter was better and I knew that the due diligence was going to be easier from that offer as well; although there was nothing really to hide. And while I wanted to hand it off to someone who might be able to at least keep it at the status quo, and hopefully grow it, I went with the offer that was better for me personally. I had dealt with the emotional aspects of walking away the summer before in my first attempt to sell, and so the actual sale was pretty straightforward and quite honestly a relief when it was all over. And while I could never make it a success for me personally and kept at it much longer than I should have, the experience was personally rewarding. All that being said, it was definitely time to move on.

So, what did I learn and what is my final assessment? One of the things I really struggled with is whether there was a certain and proven singular business strategy I should embrace and follow. I think we all seek knowledge and a proven path when we are 'walking through the wilderness'. To me, there always seemed to be at least two paths in business to potentially pursue. As an example, which leadership strategy should I embrace; the 'devil is in the details' or 'get the right people on the bus' and delegate approach? And there were always examples of each option that had great success; and in this case, the Steve Jobs versus Jack Welch approaches were great examples of two very different and successful styles. As these challenges and questions arose, I found it difficult to know which of these paths to pursue. And so when you are alone in this journey as I was, you tend to flail around a lot. I would have debates with myself wondering what was the best approach. I was often hoping and searching for some guidance that stated you need to do these finite number of things to lead you to success. When there is such risk, looking for the right answer is what I suspect most of us do. Now in retrospect, I think you need a clear path and vision that you developed yourself early on and pursued it relentlessly. The goal or destination is so clear that you just march ahead down your own path, and with some luck, your vision wins out.

I have not had good luck with partnerships. I think it is mostly because when I start something I go all out and generally the other partner does not reciprocate in kind, or at least that is my perception. I definitely struggle when I feel someone is not pulling their weight. Generally, I have found that you cannot make a person be devoted. They either are or they are not. The worst part of it is that you generally don't know what their commitment is until you have gotten into the opportunity. Most people say they will be fully vested and engaged, but as I have grown to really appreciate, saying and doing are often very different. I had a construction company early in my career and I had convinced my best friend at the time to become my partner. He was intrigued, but not enthusiastic about the idea. In this instance, the writing was on the wall before starting, but youth and enthusiasm created a condition where I wanted it to happen and thought through sheer will, I could make it happen. I had a record company that worked largely with one band, and this was a relatively good partnership; although the drummer was the weak link. What is it with drummers? This partnership ended up eroding over a period of a year or so after a few years of some marginal success. In the final analysis, things never progressed into anything substantial enough to be considered either an effort worth continuing, much less a 'going concern'. We ended up spending more money than we made and this was a great lesson in the difference between a hobby and a business. The BuyGreen.com experience resulted in two failed partnerships. I believe and certainly have been told by many investors, that any good startup has ideally either two or three founders. When I was the only owner during the second 'half' of BuyGreen.com, not having a co-founder or partner was definitely lonely. To some degree, I think the company's shortcomings were in some way because of the lack of a multi-founder condition.

The one thing I did learn is that perspective is very important, and that often getting the correct perspective took both experience and time. One of the easiest examples of this, and something I was able to actually employ on a regular basis was when something really bad happened, and really good as well, I would wait at least 24 hours before deciding what to do. And I think with very few exceptions, my view of an event when it first happened and the following day was always different. And generally speaking, the day-old view was not nearly as bad as it initially seemed. The distance allowed me to come up with a better strategy and to create a good resolution. One great lesson on perspective revolved around a company called ecoMom.com. There have always been a number of companies in our space, and one that came along a couple of years after we started was ecoMom.com, and wow, I thought they really were 'nailing it'. I was very envious of what they were doing. The two co-founders seemed to have the ‘good story’ that every successful startup seems to have. Emily Blakeney was a mother, an entrepreneur in her own right and her sister was a prominent figure in the green and eco-friendly space. Jody Sherman was also an entrepreneur with some successes under his belt and he also had the all-important contacts with investors. He was able to raise 12 million over four rounds and caught the eye of Tony Hsieh from Zappos. From my vantage, they seemed to be hitting all their marks and I was quite envious. I had called Jody Sherman to see if he was interested in investing in a company that was selling to everyone other than mothers, and he had expressed interest. We had a number of conversations by both email and phone during the summer and fall of 2012. We had agreed to get together to see if we could figure out a deal, but in early November he had sent me an email saying that he really needed to focus on his holiday season and we should get back together in the new year after the dust settles. He and I emailed each other in mid-January to set up a time to speak on the phone. A few days later I had come home on January 18th and was late as I often did (one of many joys of being an entrepreneur) and found myself alone as I did many nights. I was flipping through Twitter and saw a tweet that said something to the effect of 'I am sorry to hear about Jody and our hearts go out to his family'. It sounded bad but I wasn't a hundred percent sure what exactly happened; it seemed that maybe he was dead? Shortly thereafter, his wife had a post on Facebook confirming his death, but no discussion as to how. And to find out later it was a suicide was even more shocking. I had quickly gone from a perspective of being very envious of everything he had achieved with his very similar business to realizing perception was not reality. Talk about perspective! I barely knew Jody, but I often think about his situation. And as I learned all the details of what was apparently happening with ecoMom.com and him personally, it certainly makes you think about perception and reality.

So in conclusion, I certainly learned a lot of important lessons. Among them was the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. However, the real lesson learned is that building a successful business is REALLY hard. An image in our culture has been created suggesting there is a lot of glamour around being an entrepreneur, particularly in the last couple of years. Really doing it is not glamorous. It is a grind that comes with a lot of failures and thankless hard work. I loved the grind, the challenge and just trying, but it definitely lacked a lot of the sizzle you see on TV or read about when the media highlights just the winners. I wish there were a lot more stories about the many more losers. I am glad I tried, but for now, I am content collecting a paycheck.

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Remembering John Hanny

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Remembering John Hanny

I had no more than a handful of best friends growing up, and John L. Hanny was arguably the most important. Unfortunately, he died prematurely in an inexplicable car crash in his early twenties. I think about him with some regularity, although I must confess with time the frequency of these reflections is not what they once were. I guess time does heal all wounds, but I am not sure in this case that is a good thing. When I do think of John, it is generally wondering what he would be doing now had he lived, and would we still be in contact with each other? The first thought is certainly a lot more important, as I believe almost any life is better than his fate. And would we still be in contact? I would hope so, but the probability is likely a coin toss; candidly I do not have a lot of contact with my best relationships that were made during my first twenty years.

This is John and I out in front of my childhood home and while I am not 100% certain, I believe we were going to some event related to the wedding of Erik Roberts; the third leg of our friend triangle.

I met John in ninth grade through another new friend, Erik Roberts. I believe John and Erik were new to Kingswood-Oxford and were not a part of my KO Middle School experience. Honestly, the specifics are a bit fuzzy to me on how John and I specifically met. I do recall Erik and I meeting each other in Chemistry class which was taught by a teacher who had a thick southern accent. Her pronunciation of several chemistry terms was pretty hysterical to this immature, ninth-grade, born-and-raised New Englander.  So for the first month or so, 'Go Fo' (gold foil), Mo's (moles) and many other southern pronunciations generated a month-long 'giggle-fest' which had the unfortunate result of not paying particularly close attention to the material and poor test scores. The one positive was a strong bond with my fellow chemist, Erik Roberts.

There was a gang of very average and 'not the cool kids' that made up my social circle. John and I were squarely in that circle, but Erik not only spent time in our realm, he also did a little dancing in the world of the cool kids. I can not decide if I just do not remember some important moments that galvanized my high school long bond with John, or most likely our friendship slowly grew over some period of time. I do recall early on in our friendship that we would spend many hours at John's house playing on his Apple II computer. That was cool to have one of those and he was the only one I knew who had a computer. We would play the video game Decathlon for hours and hours, relentlessly beating two keys on the keyboard trying to run faster than each other. The 'icing on the cake', (sometimes literally) was an endless stream of food that his grandmother, Mum Mum, and his mother would bring downstairs to his basement. They could not have been nicer and Erik and I grew close to them.  Also, their basement was large and finished in a very nice way so it was a good place just to hang out. John's house was definitely a 'go-to' spot and I shudder to think how much time we spent there.

As we got older, we of course became mobile as a result of getting our licenses. However, I think John ended up doing the bulk of the driving. He was given either a Firebird or a Trans Am by his father. I can't remember which kind it was but I do remember that if you called it the wrong one, John would always correct you and let you know that it was the other and the one he had was clearly the better of the two; I think it was a Firebird. Either way, it definitely elevated our collective and anemic social status. At the very least we thought we were cool. I lived relatively close to the school so I was either taking the bus, riding my bike or walking. John and Erik lived far enough away that driving was their only option so they had cars on campus. My view of the world during this time was mostly from the 'shotgun' position of their cars.

John and I had countless adventures during high school; as I recall some of the better ones, I will add them to this part of the story. One memorable episode occurred during Halloween when we climbed up on my roof with several dozen eggs. We spent about an hour lobbing them at unsuspecting trick-or-treaters. The consternation this caused in front of our house had my father on high alert and neither he nor the targets could figure out where they were coming from. My father even went so far as to call the West Hartford police who cruised by a few times with no success of catching the perpetrators. After we ran out of eggs, we crawled down to a lower roof to get back in the house through my brother's bedroom window only to be busted by my father. He feigned anger, but quite honestly, I think he was happy to have solved the mystery. There were also many evenings of reckless consumption, house parties and just hanging out in the local woods or some parking lot. Fairly typical for that time, but it was good and memorable to us.

All three of us went on to college and we stayed in touch. We would reunite during holidays, summers and even put together a pretty raucous road trip to Daytona Beach where I went down to Franklin & Marshall to meet up with John, and later picked up Erik at Wake Forest. After college, we all moved back to the greater Hartford area where we rekindled our friendship and spent many nights going to our favorite watering holes and marching in a parade of stupid and immature activity. The Metro, Piggy's and The Moose were all favorites often ending in a greasy, but very tasty meal at Steak'n'Eggs. These were very good times and a particularly memorable portion of my youth.

This was a party Erik, John and I went to during a holiday break from college. I think it was some party in Boston but not sure exactly. What I do recall is Erik and I pretending we were both back from a semester at Oxford as Rhodes Scholars. Whatever the story was, it was ridiculous and we had more fun entertaining ourselves than anything else.

After some time, I had an itch do something more and different. Erik had a sister who was living in San Diego and I think was moving back to Connecticut. John and I baked up a plan to move out there with Erik who I don't recall being particularly enthusiastic about the plan. However, his participation was an essential element of this scheme since his parents owned the house. Long story short, the plan fell apart and neither of them was going to move to California. For some reason, and I am not sure exactly why I was determined to get out of Connecticut. Maybe it was my way of distinguishing myself in our social circle? Anyhow, I had an 'Uncle' (technically a cousin) who lived in Palo Alto and I decided to call him and invite myself to live there. He and my Aunt were quite gracious and said yes; thank you Stu and Louise! My father was baffled as to why I was moving to California, and maybe he had every right to be as I cannot recall having a specific reason other than 'just cuz'. My brother and I spent ten days driving out west (hopefully more stories to be recalled in another post) and there I was living in California.

I lost touch with Erik some, but John and I spoke on the phone a couple of times. I wanted to let him know how great it was in California and how badly he was missing out; suffice it to say that I may have exaggerated a few stories. I went back to Connecticut over the next few years for events like the holidays, my grandfather's failing health and Erik's wedding. Each return visit resulted in great reunions and lots of fun times. In many ways, it was like I had never left and that is maybe the key reason they both were such great friends. However, geography and time made this leg a bit wobbly on our three-legged friendship stool.

I remember getting the call from my father in my San Francisco apartment to let me know John had been killed in a car crash. This news really caught me off guard and It was hard to believe. The physical distance and the time that had passed between us made it seem like it was not real. I had lost another close friend earlier in my life, but because our friendship was more current and active, the news was immediately devastating.

As I recall, there was some sort of delay for the funeral and it happened about a week after John died. Complicating emotional matters for me was a trip I had previously planned to go to San Diego (ironic as that is where John and I had planned to move) and then a road trip to Ensenada with some friends. This was going to take place over a long weekend before John's funeral, which I recall being on a Tuesday. That was a strange and hard few days where I was supposed to be having fun and engaged in stupidity, but torn by how I was supposed to honor my friend. I ping-ponged between celebrating his life with gusto and just wanting to leave. My travel buddies were not going to be deterred from partying and it was all I could do to extract myself from that trip to get back to San Francisco and catch my flight to Connecticut. By the slimmest of margins, I managed to make it on time for the wake, and then the funeral the following day. Making this bad situation very strange for me was 'parachuting' into my past and being a bit on the outside looking into John and Erik's current lives. Of course, that reaction was completely selfish on my part.

I really do not remember the service itself, but I am sure it was pretty involved and formal as John was Catholic. In High School, he would always order a Fillet-o-Fish at McDonald's when we would go out for dinner on Fridays. A practice I think was more out of respect for what his parents wanted for him, and less about his actual faith. What I do clearly remember about these couple of days is being at the gravesite for his burial and every moment that transpired. To this day, I remember that scene in almost every detail, like a picture.

As I recall the story of the accident and what happened to John was something to the effect that he and his girlfriend were driving down to the coast of Connecticut on a clear sunny day. Apparently, with no other interaction from another car, they drove off a two-lane highway, down an embankment and crashed into a tree. John died and his girlfriend lived but blacked out and she had no recollection of what happened. John was always a good driver. The only odd circumstance was they had a kitten in the car, but no one was sure what caused him to go off the road.

This is from John's senior page in our yearbook from Kingswood-Oxford Class of 1983. He was an accomplished guitar player and loved his Pontiac Firebird.

John Hanny was a genuinely good soul and a true friend. He was smart, talented and despite our social circle in high school, he turned out to be quite the ladies' man.  He was also a very accomplished guitar player who had some good success in a few bands at both his college and later back in Hartford. I blame him for another episode in my life where I thought managing bands and starting a record label was a good idea. OK, that is totally on me but it makes me feel better to blame him. Most importantly, John was a good son and brother and had a lot left to accomplish. I often wonder if we had moved to California, would he still be alive? I would like to think so. When I do think about him, it is as a result of recalling one of our many adventures. Life is definitely not fair and can really suck sometimes! RIP John L. Hanny, RIP! (1966-1993)

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