Our family tradition has always been the only acceptable Christmas tree, was a real one. This was true when I was a kid and for a long time, I perpetuated this tradition and thinking, particularly when my kids were young. However, as time went on, the effort required to get and deal with a real Christmas tree became more and more burdensome.
This is our last real Christmas tree in 2016.
About ten years ago, a work associate had conveyed to me that he had purchased a fake tree at a high-end nursery after the holidays. His approach was to get a really good tree but to do it after the season so he could get a good discount. He paid about $800 for a tree that normally cost close to $2000. The quality was first-rate. My initial reaction was purely emotional. How could anyone buy a fake tree? He then proceeded to provide me his logic for doing so which largely was based on it paying for itself after a handful of years and vastly improving the acquisition and disposal process. His argument was hard to push back against, but how could possibly put up a FAKE tree.
Every year I would think about the rational logic my friend offered as to why a fake tree made more sense. I would dwell on it as I was driving home, hauling and setting the tree up. My arrangement with my wife is I would get the tree, set it up and put the lights on; I have always been very particular about lights which needed to be a lot of natural white lights. My wife would then decorate the tree with a vast collection of ornaments. When the holidays were over, she would take the ornaments off. Then it was my turn to finish the job which started by taking the lights off and disposing of the tree. I would often drag the tree out to the street and systematically take all the lights off to minimize the number of needles in the house and hopefully not ruin the strings of light. The trees were generally pretty dry by this point and needles typically would drop at a very high rate. The lights were wrapped round and round with a number of strings overlapping each other. Getting the lights off was always a general hassle. I would sometimes cut limbs to make the unwrapping of the lights a little easier. This strategy was marginally effective.
Needless to say, the real tree tradition was a lot of work. Not to mention expensive. Good trees are pricey in Southern California. We are lucky in that the ceiling height in our living room is about twelve feet. Getting anything less than an eight-foot tree just was not going to work. This size tree was generally extra expensive; always $100 at minimum and often around $150. We also had a couple of incidents where water leaked in the stand and through our tarp and other covers intended to protect our wooden floors from damage.
This year was a bit unique in that Thanksgiving was particularly early in the month; November 23rd. My wife gets anxious within hours of Thanksgiving being over to start decorating for Christmas; this is her decorating Superbowl. Generally, she will do various items throughout the house and I try to stall on getting the tree so that by the time Christmas shows up, we do not have a completely dry tree and bonfire waiting to happen. This year was especially challenging.
On top of it, she was having a work event with some employees at the house in early December. I stalled for about a week but then had to ask whether she was expecting to have the tree up and decorated for her co-workers? The answer was 'yes, of course'. So I went to Home Depot and Walmart to see what they had for fake trees and the options were pretty terrible. Good prices, but the trees were small and not great quality. My father had mentioned that he had seen some good fake trees at his Lowe's. So I went there and sure enough, they had some high-end trees. One in particular, a Holiday Living nine-foot Hayden Pine, looked pretty good. The problem was they did not have one on display and the price tag was almost $600.
I also was checking the real tree selections and this year it was looking like a tree was going to be about $150. The quality was just average. Now I am going back and forth in my head wondering if this is the year I pull the trigger on the fake tree. I was clearly straddling both sides of the fence; my first choice would be to pass on the whole thing. I sent a text to my family at large indicating that I might go with a fake tree this year. I received the expected response that it was a bad idea. At the last minute, my wife had a funeral she had to go to on the same day her work function was going to be and as a result, the need for a tree was pushed back a week. More time to continue my internal vacillation.
The following weekend arrived and it was time to 'get off the fence'. During the week, I think I had gotten over the emotional tug and tradition of a real tree. I told my wife she needed to take a look at the tree before I bought anything. I was not going to listen to her for the next ten years say she really did not like the fake tree we purchased. She thought maybe one of the craft stores might have something and so we went to a few of them to catch their selection. There was one that was not bad, but it was really skinny and I could not pull the trigger on that one.
We then headed back to Lowe's to look at the one I had found and make sure she approved of this $600 acquisition. Their fake tree display was pretty impressive the week before, but when we arrived, the display was only a bunch of boxes and two trees for viewing. This was a little surprising since there was still about two weeks until Christmas. On the tree I had identified, there were two in boxes and on one, there was a flyer taped on the box for a smaller and considerably cheaper tree; $175. My wife and I briefly debated whether we were going to really do this. We both sort of knew the answer but this provided one last gut-check. I figured the true cost was going to $450 this year as we would pay $150 for a real tree. In the fifth year, we would be 'making money'.
We loaded it on a flat dolly as it was big and pretty heavy. I told my wife we should go to the garden center and see what happens with the flier. For some reason, I thought they might be less diligent in the garden center. We got in line and when it was our turn, the cashier walked out and looked at the far end where the flier was and seemed to be going with that pricing. Then he said, 'Oh this price is not the right amount'. I was sort of expecting that the wrong price on the flier would get figured out. Ultimately, I was prepared and willing to pay the full price. Surprisingly, the cashier then says, 'the right price is $135'. I did a bit of a doubletake. However, pretty quickly I began to shove my wife out of the way with the box and dolly before she said anything that might change his new price declaration. I got the credit card out as fast as possible and began swiping before the real pricing became a possibility. I said to my wife why don't you start taking it to the car. The cashier asked me to sign and off we went to the car as fast as we could. I looked at my wife and we just laughed! Financially this could not have worked out any better. At this point, I almost did not care what the tree looked like.
We got home and I just could not believe we got this tree for probably a few bucks less than what we would have paid for a real tree. We hauled the tree in and opened the box. The tree is four pieces and we carefully pulled each out. I read the instructions which were pretty straightforward; plug in the base and start stacking the appropriate pieces on top. It went together quickly and when we turned it on, the 1,4450 built-in lights were spectacular. My traditional obligation of erecting the tree and getting the lights on was done in short order. My wife then proceeded to decorate with some help at the top of the tree which she found hard to reach. I put the star on and WOW!. This was a great looking tree. I was a convert. My fifty years of clinging to the tradition of real trees had vaporized.
A quick fake tree convert! I think it looks pretty good in this picture, but in person it is just about perfect.